TITLE: Battlefield: Bad Company 2
PLATFORM: PS3, XBox 360, PC
PUBLISHER: Electronic Arts
DEVELOPER: EA Digital Illusions CE
ESRB: M
RELEASED: March 2010

By Justin Polak
Co-Founder, Ambassador to the Mushroom Kingdom

Although I do like a good first person shooter, I don’t consider myself the genre’s biggest fan. If anything, I am one of the few that enjoys a single player campaign way more than any type of multiplayer mode. I see the appeal, but most of the time online multiplayer simply does not grab my attention.

Bad Company 2 does not fall into that category. The squad based action is a huge draw for me, especially since I actually feel rewarded when a team and I work together. Find the right group of people, and you will be apart of an unstoppable force, which I must admit is an exhilarating feeling. You can get away with breaking apart from a group if you desire, but what’s the fun in that? Not every online shooter has to be Halo, you know.

Image from badcompany2.ea.com

I also love all the different kits which allow you to adapt to whatever situation you think lies ahead. Why choose an assault kit when you can blow vehicles sky high as a recon soldier? If you feel that the battle hasn’t been faring too well, switch over to a medic before you respawn to help out your other team mates. Choose an engineer if vehicular combat is more of your thing.

What makes a great and balance multiplayer game is a good amount of options. Along with a nice variety of maps, the multiplayer modes may seem simple upon first glance. However, spend a little time playing each one and hours will pass by before you know it.

Along with the classic conquest mode, you have rush, squad deathmatch, and squad rush. None of these modes ever get old. I found myself constantly switching between them not because I was getting bored, but because they were all so damn fun! My favorite would have to be squad rush. It just feels more personal to me when there are only eight players on the battle field. Plus, winning a match by the skin of your teeth feels that much more satisfying!

Although the multiplayer won me over for a change, I am happy to say that I love the single player campaign just as much. I love the banter between the main cast, even if Bad Company 2 is more serious than the first title. If anything, I thought that the toned down humor came across better than Bad Company’s because it seemed that the characters were trying just a bit too hard to make me laugh.

It’s also nice to play a game that has destructible environments that actually make sense. If some jerk is hiding behind a wall, my trusty RPG flushed him out of hiding in an instant. Be warned, the enemies have no qualms with playing the same tactics against you and your squad! There is also something deeply satisfying about taking out a guard tower by blowing out the floor and watching a helpless guard scream all the way into the ground.

What I loved the most is the sound effects and music. First, it is scary how realistic every weapon sounds in the game. Hearing a loud echo of rapid fire followed by the clattering of empty rounds may seem like a simple detail, but it’s aspects like that which pull me into the game’s world. Although the soundtrack isn’t heard too often, there is a magical feeling to it. It’s almost as if John Williams (Star Wars, Indiana Jones) composed all the pieces himself! My only real complaint against the music is that there wasn’t enough of it!

Image from badcompany2.ea.com

Speaking of complaints, I do have minor issues with Bad Company 2. I did notice minor pop up, which mainly occurred at the beginning of cut scenes. There was also some screen tearing here and there, which never ever is a pretty sight. Hell, that looks like garbage on a standard TV. Also, as funny as it may look, far too enemies ended up stuck in a wall while the game’s physics attempted to compensate. Seeing a dead solider wave at me with legs flailing everywhere kind of ruins any illusion of realism. All of these issues are easily forgivable unless you are a perfectionist.

At the end of the day, Bad Company 2 is a worthy purchase. A robust online multiplayer combined with and incredibly entertaining single player mode gives games like Modern Warfare 2 a run for its money. If you are any kind of FPS fan you owe it to yourself to play this game.

RATING: 8.5/10

By Justin Polak
Co-Founder, Ambassador to the Mushroom Kingdom

Most gamers scoff at the idea of casual games.  They feel that the are obliterating the video game industry beyond all repair. Hordes of solitaire jockeys, soccer moms, grandmas, and toddlers will dumb down video games in the long run.  They especially believe this when it’s reported how much of a success something like Farmville is.

For those of you who don’t know, casual games are usually defined as a video game or interactive software that is easy to jump into. This could be a lowly Facebook app, a paltry game found on a console, games that are on your PC (Freecell, Minesweeper), or any game that anyone can casually play. Hardcore gamers will even go as far to tell you that any game without a “real” challenge is casual.

Image from Gather.com.

However, I don’t believe casual games “dumb down” the gaming industry. In fact, I believe that casual games are helping the industry more than hurting it. Don’t get me wrong, I hate those Facebook apps with a smoldering passion, and I certainly care less about the mediocre stream of shovelware pouring out of consoles these days (Wii, I am looking at you).

The reason why I believe that casual games can potentially help the industry is simple:  My own childhood. I am guessing you might want me to elaborate on that. Well, I guess if I have to…

Anyone who played video games for more than an hour as a child from my generation will tell you that their parents bitched at them non-stop. You know what I am talking about: “Your grades are slipping because of them vidya games!” “Stop playing that Nintendo and go outside!” “No, you can’t save your game. Come eat dinner NOW!” Ah, memories. While my parents never were all that bad, I do remember a few heated arguments here and there because I played video games. Keep in mind that they played video games themselves, and not just Tetris! At least they weren’t bad as other parents I knew growing up.

An aunt and uncle hated video games. Well, mainly my uncle. They didn’t forbid playing video games, but they certainly just didn’t get it. My uncle often viewed them as a complete waste of time. If my cousins did anything wrong, the first thing he would do is take away the video games as punishment. He used to have an uncanny ability to detect when my cousins and I were playing games past our bed time during a sleepover. We had the volume all the way down and we never made a sound. Yet, it was inevitable what would happen every single time we tried.

“Turn it off!”

Guess what? That very same Uncle? He bought a Wii without any hesitation a few years ago. And no, not just for Wii Sports. Now, they may not have a copy of No More Heroes or Super Mario Galaxy, but it was very cool to see them jam to Guitar Hero and Rock Band. It also caught me by surprise when my Uncle was floored by the idea of XBox Live. Granted, it’s not something he would get into, but he was amazed that people all over the word can play a round of Slayer in Halo at anytime. Years prior to that he thought my cousin and I playing two-player NES games was anti-social behavior.

I think the community aspect that causal games bring to the table is what really wins over people from older generations. Thanks to Viking Clan, another Facebook app, my mom now understands many RPG terms that I grew up with. Because of that, she has a better understanding my love for RPGs. Again, I don’t care for Facebook apps, but I have to admit that it is very cool to see my mother geek out about leveling up, planning strategies, and just generally enjoying what is essentially a video game.

Gamers with a cynical outlook at casual games might tell you that the more those types of games are successful, the harder it will be to find a “legitimate” game. However, I think those gamers should think back to their childhood. Look back when video games were primarily played by children. Go take a look at your Atari or NES collection, or try to remember what games you used to own. Were all of the games you owned just as awesome as Space Invaders or Super Mario Bros? Hell no. Fact:  Shovleware and casual games have always existed.

My point is this: When people from my generation were all new to gaming, we didn’t really have any direction at all. We knew what a good game was, but we were also constantly duped or shafted into buying/receiving video games that were complete garbage. We played them anyway and we loved it.

My theory is this: As time goes by, you might see those soccer moms or middle aged people get into something a little deeper. Try to think of Shovelware and Facebook apps as a gateway to having casual gamers eventually play better games. If anything, I believe that casual gamers who don’t eventually move on to greener pastures will stop playing video games altogether. Not that the video game industry is in any serious trouble right now, but any business is better than no business. I’d rather see twenty releases designed for casuals a month if it meant one or two triple A titles can still come my way once in awhile.

At the end of that day, whether I am right or wrong, I am glad that gaming is something that is more accepted as more time passes by. Maybe it’s because I grew up in a time where most adults I came across were dismissive or rude about my video game habits, but it’s nice to see the same kind of people get into a hobby that I have loved for nearly all of my life. I don’t believe that casual games signify the eventual end of video games as us “real” gamers know it, but a new beginning full of limitless potential.

By Justin Polak
Co-Founder, Ambassador to the Mushroom Kingdom

And now, the worlds-shattering conclusion to Justin Polak’s look at Worlds of Power: Mega Man 2, only at Primary Ignition.

Chapter 11: Heat Man’s world was like a giant furnace, pulsing with red-hot currents of air. Everything was the color of flame: Mega Man saw nothing but red, orange, and yellow, wherever he looked.

This passage made me laugh pretty hard because it’s almost as if the author said, “Man, it is hard to translate NES graphics into a book, even if it is a children’s book!” I can just imagine a frustrated man with scraggily hair with his hands on top of his head at a loss as to how to describe why even the bricks in Heat Man’s level are as red as the lava itself. With a mountain of crumpled up pieces of paper surrounding his desk, he suddenly looks skyward as he shouts Heat Man’s name in pure rage.

Game Hint: “To challenge Dr. Wily, you must complete all nine missions.  Follow the order in this book for the best results.”

Wait, what?  There are only eight robot masters! Did he miscount? Does he believe that all the Wily levels are all one mission? Now matter how you slice it this hint is TERRIBLE. You mean the game won’t let you go straight to Dr. Wily BEFORE taking on all the robot masters threatening the world? That Mega Man should miss out on thieving their powers to turn them against Wily? Come to think of it, Dr. Light seems to be able to teleport Mega Man anywhere in the world. Why wouldn’t he just put the blue bomber right next to Wily? Going by that theory, if Light can take robots and teleport them anywhere, why wouldn’t he lock on to the eight robot masters and teleport them into the sun? See what this hint has done to me?!

Chapter 12: [describing Heat Man] The Armor surrounded him like a huge box with a lid that could snap shut when he pulled his head inside. He looked like a square turtle.

I will bet you any amount of money that the author drew the same conclusion that the rest of us did about Heat Man: The dude looks like a damn Zippo lighter. I will also bet you that he originally described Heat Man as such in the original draft, but the publisher had the author change it because a lighter’s primary function is to light cigarettes. I think you can connect the dots from here as to why a publisher would be uncomfortable with a Zippo comparison in a children’s book. I still strongly think that describing Heat Man as a square turtle is about as useful as saying that Yoshi is a green horse.

Chapter 13: He was getting used to the beating of the drums. BOOM, boom-boom, BOOM!  BOOM, boom-boom, BOOM! They were louder than ever. “What a great beat,” Mega Man said. “Too bad I don’t have any time to dance.” Then Mega Man saw an Atomic Chicken leaping toward him.

Holy hell that last line came out of nowhere! I actually know what the author is talking about, and I still gave the book a double take when reading that. In fact, I think I might try paraphrasing that line in conversations at my job.

BOSS: Have you finished those reports I gave you this morning?
ME:  Well, no.  Sorry about that, they’ll be done in a few minuets.
BOSS:  WHAT?!  Why?!
ME: Well, the system was down, so I had to manually reconfigure the network.
BOSS:  Go on…
ME: I opened to door to the network room.  Then I saw an Atomic Chicken leaping toward me.
BOSS: …clean out your desk and get the hell out of here.

Chapter 14: Right in front of him was a mean-looking robot with flames shooting out of the top of his head. He was about three feet tall, and he was wearing a tuxedo. It was Hot Head.

I guess the robot being three feet tall is accurate assuming Mega Man himself is a few inches shorter than that. This means full grown humans are roughly that tall in the Mega Man universe, as well as basically everything humanoid.  In other words, yeah, there is no way Hot Head is that short. Don’t even bother asking me where the tuxedo bit came from. I know in early video games limits concerning graphics sometimes caused a player to unintentionally view character sprites as something completely different. For example, I thought the Like Like’s in the original Zelda were a stack of pancakes! Look it up and see for yourself! However, there is no excuse why a Hot Head would be viewed to be wearing a tuxedo. With my vast Mega Man 2 knowledge and astute observations, I am again wondering why I am single.

Game Hint: “To kill Wood Man, watch out for his shield and use Heat Man’s Atomic Fire.”

Yes!  As far as I’m concerned this is the ONLY way to destroy Wood Man. Oh sure, you can be all boring and use the Metal Blades like everyone else.  Or you could feel an insane rush of power and obliterate Wood Man in one shot using a fully charged Atomic Fire, assuming you are playing on Normal. Difficult requires two shots. Either way it’s funny as hell, and it will turn you into a man, even if you are a woman.

Chapter 15: The next beam was frozen in a second. Mega Man grinned. He was safe. Mega Man kept on climbing down, activating the Time Stopper whenever he needed to.

No! You can’t do that, and reading that just pisses me off! As I made perfectly clear earlier, I love Mega Man 2 to death!   One of the few flaws I find in the game is that the Time Stopper is a one shot deal. Once you activate it, the power stays on until it runs out of energy. I know that the author played through the game, or at least saw someone play through the game. The jerk probably got stuck on the laser beam sequence in Quick Man’s level, so he used the Time Stopper. He should know that you can’t stop the power once it starts! I know I sound crazy!  As pointed out before, this kind of crap always happens when video games are imported into other media, like a movie or something. This inaccuracy drives me crazy as much as basically everything in the Street Fighter movie did. The Super Mario Bros. movie basically shut my brain down and put me in a coma.

Chapter 16: Suddenly, Mega Man heard a train behind him. “A train? What’s a train doing on top of the castle?” He turned to look. It wasn’t a train. It was a dragon. A very big dragon. Breathing fire.

That’s a pretty accurate reaction to every Mega Man 2 player’s first time encountering the dragon boss at the end of the first Wily level. Also, I imagine something that big would sound like a freight train or something akin to that. It doesn’t breathe fire until you stop and battle it, but that short and simple description of the scene does a great job in capturing the panic inducing situation. Pat yourself on the back, author!

Game Hint: You need to freeze time to beat Quick Man.

I take it back! No! Asshole, you already used Time Stopper to bypass the laser sequence in Quick Man’s level! I don’t care what you said, jerk face!  You now have no choice but to best Quick Man by using power shots or Crash Bombs! Plus, if you did have Time Stopper, it would only take off half of Quick Man’s health! AAARRRRGHHHH!!!!

Chapter 17: Then he laughed out loud. “Paging Doctor Wily!” he yelled. “Paging Doctor Wily! This is Mega Man, and I’m on my way!”

Art from wii.kombo.com

Ouch, what a terrible line. I believe I cringed reading that part as a child. To me, it sounds like a set up to a joke on Scrubs that J.D. would make in one of his many bizarre fantasies. The scene would show J.D. dressed as Mega Man trying desperately to find his mentor, Dr. Cox, dressed as Wily. As soon as he tracks him down, Cox escapes out of a window via flying saucer. If the show were still on, I would totally send that idea to Zach Braff. He would act all bored, say the joke sucks, and use it anyway.

Game Hint: To get to Heat Man, use the C weapon to cut through the wall.

No, author. That part of Heat Man’s level isn’t that hard. You don’t need Crash Bombs to avoid using the disappearing blocks to jump over a high wall. Sure, it makes that part easier, but the timing to use the blocks to your advantage is very easy to spot. The hint almost sounds like you absolutely have to use this power or there will be no chance to even make it to Heat Man. Also, why is he now describing the weapons as they appear on the pause menu? We would be smart enough to figure out how to select Atomic Fire and Metal Blade, but not Crash Bomb? What the hell, man?

Chapter 18: Mega Man turned to leave Guts-Dozer’s Garage.  He could see now that it wasn’t going to be so simple to get to Dr. Wily.  This castle really was full of booby traps.

Oh? So it took a giant tank resembling one of the robot masters from the first game to finally convince you that Wily’s Castle is full of traps? Mega Man turning into a human has made him dumber than I originally thought.

Game Hint: When you see an Air Tiki, avoid his horns.

Also, the author is dumber than I thought. You mean I should AVOID the horns instead of ramming right into them, causing Mega Man to fall to a quick death? Thanks, bro!

Chapter 19: “Oh, no!” he yelled. “Not you again!”  Air Man stood in the center of the room, hurling tornadoes at Mega Man. Dr. Wily had created a backup clone of each robot.”

Wow, Mega Man is really afraid of Air Man in this novel. Obviously, he wipes the floor with Air Man and the rest of the robot masters, but I just don’t get the big deal about Air Man. I’m guessing that, oddly enough, the author had trouble against him while playing the actual game. I don’t get it. I have played every version of Mega Man 2 out there and Air Man is always the first boss I choose to go to!  I never had any trouble beating him, but I guess it’s a different story for other players!

Game Hint: Use Air Man’s whirlwinds to defeat Crash Man, but watch out for his bombs.

Alright, another good hint. Crash Man can be bested by Air Man’s power in a couple of seconds if you use this strategy. I know I’m once again being nitpicky, but I’m pretty sure most players have figured that being hit by bombs is a bad thing. Since just about every video game from that era had bombs in them, people from my generation fear video game bombs more than explosives in the real world.

Chapter 20: Dr. Wily had created a mirage to scare Mega Man, but Mega Man had destroyed it with the Bubble Lead.

Even in the novel it sounds lame that Wily’s last measure against Mega Man is bested by a weapon that is made from Bubbles. That has always bothered me, but you have no choice but to use Bubble Lead, seeing how nothing else will work against it.

Game Hint: To get to Heat Man, use the C weapon to cut through the wall.

Nope, I didn’t make a mistake. One of the game hints is twice repeated for no reason! Or is it? I really think that the author really hated the disappearing blocks in Heat Man’s level! I guess he just couldn’t get the timing right to climb over the wall!  What pretentiousness! I bet he figured that if he couldn’t do it, no other player could!

Chapter 21: Mega Man had turned Dr. Wily over to Dr. Light for justice.  The evil genius was still begging for mercy, but Mega Man knew that Dr. Light was planning to put him into prison for the next billion years.

This is the only instance in the entire novel where something makes more sense than the game. In the actual game it is implied that after Mega Man wins against Wily in the game, he lets Wily go granting his pleas for mercy. Mega Man simply walks off in the distance, pondering his decision. Considering Wily tried to take over the world twice with robot masters and terrifying technology, you would think that the mad scientist would be thrown into a maximum security prison! Nope! In the games, Wily doesn’t get jailed until the end of Mega Man 6! Granted, at the end of Mega Man 3 he was thought to be killed, but the fact that it takes six plots to take over the world to get jailed is ludicrous. I hate to think what the crime rate is like in the Mega Man universe!

After seventy three pages of sheer adventure, the Mega Man 2 novel comes to a close. For the time, I will admit it was a good book for children, despite the problems I had with the novel. Upon doing further research I found out two important details.

First, it turns out that this book was written by a girl!  No wonder it seemed that she sucked at the game at times! I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Don’t send me hate mail!

Secondly, several NES games were turned into the “Worlds of Power” book series. Mega Man 2 is one of the two Jr. Edition books. Maybe the books that weren’t Jr. Editions were more professionally written.

Well, thanks to I-Mockery.com, I have tracked down this passage from the Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest novel:

Chapter 7 “Ghouls Just Want To Have Fun”

Tim Bradley lifted the sword that Simon had given him just after they’d arrived at the inn. He would have preferred a gun. However, Simon Belmont had informed him not only of the fact that there were no guns in Castlevania, but that even if they were imported from another dimension, they wouldn’t work here. Gunpowder didn’t explode in Castlevania. “Things work on magical principles here, Timothy,” Simon had explained. “And also on the moral laws of good and evil. This is why I am very good, and Dracula is very bad.”

I guess at the end of the day, I got off real easy.

By Justin Polak,
Co-Founder, Ambassador to the Mushroom Kingdom

Yesterday, Primary Ignition‘s own Justin Polak dove into the novelization of Mega Man 2. Today, he makes his way to the murky depths, looking for submerged bubbles of awkwardness.

Clearly, if I examine every single detail of this book, this article will go on for ages.  Therefore, from here on in I will pick out one part from each chapter on what I find absurd or interesting, give you my feedback and critique game hints that the author inserted throughout the book.

Chapter  1: “My latest invention,” [Dr. Light] said proudly. “The Robo-Transometer XZ-4000, With Cloning Capability.” He led Mega Man to the door. “Please step inside,” he said. ‘This won’t hurt a bit.  And when I open the door, there’ll be two of you.”

Now that actually sounds interesting. Maybe this will be some sort of creative way to have Mega Man have a set of lives like in the video game! If that turns out to be true, then props will definitely go to the author!

Chapter 2: The Robo-Transometer swung open, letting in a stream of light. Mega Man stirred. His head hurt…Mega Man blinked and looked again. He couldn’t believe it. He wasn’t a robot anymore.

Yes, you read that right. Two chapters in, and the author decided to arbitrarily make Mega Man a human! Joy! Damn it, my idea would have been so much cooler!  Dr. Light even ends up explaining that he must have pushed the wrong sequence of buttons which caused the accident to happen in the first place.  Just what the hell did Dr. Light invent? Better yet, why don’t they just make Mega Man a robot again since this machine can apparently rearrange matter itself!  Or trick Dr. Wily to step inside the machine and turn him into a pickle!

Chapter 3: Then Mega Man saw a huge tower with a big W on it.  Dr. Light had told him to watch for the tower.  The W stood for Wily.  Mega Man knew he must be getting closer to Metal Man’s secret lair, in the center of his empire.

More like a couple of feet from the lair. But hey, this book is for children who are obsessed with Mega Man, so I guess that could be forgiven. What can’t be forgiven is the, “W stood for Wily,” bit. That even pissed me off as a kid. Thanks, book! I never would have guessed!  What’s even more annoying than that is Dr. Light sent off Mega Man on his quest to stop Wily as a human. They both kind of just shrugged their shoulders and moved on. So just about every damn paragraph constantly reminds you that Mega Man is now human, and his ears hurt from the noise level in Metal Man’s stage.

Chapter 4: This was the most gigantic robot Mega Man had ever seen! It was ten times his size, towering high above him on massive legs. Its feet were the size of a small car, and its legs were like silos. ‘That must be Mr. Big,’ said Mega Man. “Doctor Light warned me about him. He’s one of Flash Man’s helpers.”

So the rock promoter from the Wayne’s World movie is not only a robot, but is programmed to kill Mega Man? That’s actually pretty cool! No, wait a minute. That doesn’t sound right…ah, I got it! The enemy that the author is trying to describe is, in fact, called Sniper Armor. It’s the vehicle that some Sniper Joes use in a few levels. With knowledge like that, I often wonder why I am not constantly swimming in an ocean of ladies.

Game Hint: “To kill Air Man, carefully jump the tornadoes to get close to him.”

Chapter 5: “…And Flash Man was no problem. These superrobots of Doctor Wily’s aren’t so tough if you know how to fight them,” said Mega Man, boasting a little.

Surely this statement won’t come back and bite Mega Man right on his fresh, human ass! Oh, and the only other thing that happens in this chapter is that Mega Man gets attacked by a Croaker and falls down a waterfall. Boy, it’s a good thing he isn’t a robot anymore!

Bubble Man. Art courtesy of PressTheButtons.com

Chapter 6: This time Mega Man couldn’t move quickly enough to dodge it. The now huge, heavy bubble rolled right over him, squashing him flat…Bubble Man gloated. “Got you, Mega Man!” he laughed. “Doctor Wily blorble will be proud of me!”

Now that’s just insulting. The first, and I believe only time that Mega Man is in any real danger is against Bubble Man of all robots!  Mega Man has two weapons when facing Bubble Man in the book, the Time Stopper and the Metal Blade. I don’t care if Mega Man is still used to being human, any idiot knows that you charge into Bubble Man with Metal Blades equipped! Dr. Light was practically screaming at Mega Man (they communicate with each other presumably through Mega Man’s helmet throughout the book) to equip the damn weapon. It’s just sad to read.

Game Hint: “Use the jet ski to get over the lava.”

Aside from the problem that if you never played Mega Man 2 before you would be slightly confused as to where the author is talking about, this is a good tip. Plus, when the player reaches the spot in question, it is obvious where the hint is referring to. There is a section in Heat Man’s level where you must control Mega Man, jumping from one disappearing block to the next, in order to avoid instant death from falling into a lava pit. The, “jet ski,” which is known as, “Item-2,” in the game will let the player easily bypass that section of the stage. Even I do it most of the time despite my badass skillz.

Chapter 7: Then, Mega Man heard what sounded like a weather report “…high winds? Gales? Hurricanes likely?  Tornado warnings for all areas? Sounds like stormy weather ahead!”

Obviously, this is in Air Man’s stage. I actually like this part, and before I re-read it after getting the book back as an adult, it was the only section I remembered word for word. Why? Because it’s actually creative!  In fact, there are a few sections in the book where the author does a good job of painting a picture for the reader. Not only does it remind you of the scenery within the video game, but it sets a definitive tone of what lies ahead. Granted, the weather in the video game’s version of Air Man’s level is nice, but since the weather report doesn’t actually came into play, I’ll let it go. Too bad the writing isn’t always this consistent.

Chapter 8: Oddly enough, there isn’t anything worth noting in this chapter! I will note that despite how melodramatic the author describes the battles leading up to Air Man, the book does describe Air Man’s level in frighteningly accurate detail…in comparison to the previous chapters of the book.

Chapter 9: [describing his Defeat of Air Man] “Oh, he was just full of hot air,” said Mega Man modestly.

Oh, really? The scariest robot you have ever seen was easy enough for you to make a pun that James Bond would be proud of? Yeah, yeah, I’m being nitpicky at this point, but the chapter was a whopping two pages in length, so the book is not giving me enough to work with! Dr. Wily threatened Mega Man over the news beam, and trash talk worthy enough for Saturday morning cartoons spilled out of Wily’s mouth, but it’s nothing you haven’t heard before in children’s media.  Hopefully, the next chapter will finally have something truly intriguing in it…

Chapter 10: The robots were mostly helmet. They looked harmless…at first. Then their helmets popped up, and their weapons popped out, aiming straight at Mega Man with deadly intent.

Awesome!  I never have seen a Neo Metall hyped up in such astronomical proportions! The Neo Metall is a variant of the often reoccurring enemy first encountered in Guts Man’s stage in the original Mega Man. It’s the yellow construction helmet that, as the book described, pops up and fires at Mega Man. As far as the original series goes, they aren’t a threat at all, despite that they charge at you if you haven’t easily destroyed them after avoiding their shot. If I had read this book before playing Mega Man 2, I totally would have freaked out upon encountering this enemy!

Game Hint: “Use the Metal Blade to cut right through Flash Man.”

Gee, thanks.  Anyone who would be interested in acquiring this book would already know that Flash Man can be dominated by Metal Blades! I think that’s the first thing you learn when you first take on Mega Man 2!

Return to Primary Ignition tomorrow for the epic conclusion of Justin’s look at World’s of Power: Mega Man 2.

By Justin Polak
Co-Founder, Ambassador to the Mushroom Kingdom

I love Mega Man 2 as much as a proud father loves a son. When I was a child, Mega Man wasn’t just a simple Nintendo game for me.  It was a freaking lifestyle. I had a rockin’ blue sweat shirt and stylin’ blue sweat pants. When I wore those clothes to school, I became Mega Man. If my mother would have let me get away with it, I would have proudly worn a blue bike helmet or something similar.

Even to this day I am filled with insurmountable joy when I run through the game.  A couple years ago I ended up playing through Mega Man 2 after getting destroyed at a bar. I had a female friend who is seven years younger than me accompany me home that night. She was too young to see the big deal about Mega Man, so in my drunken state, I educated her. I was partially blackout drunk and I still managed to beat the game with little problems. Of course, this was all because I just had to show her how awesome Quick Man’s laser death trap sequences were, but I digress…

Roughly twenty years ago, it was an average, dull day in elementary school. Every once in awhile the teacher would pass out Scholastic Book Club catalogs, and I largely ignored them. I was one of the unfortunate children that let public school ruin reading for him. However, something in that catalog caught my eye that day.  I recognized the legendary awful box art of Mega Man 2 within the catalog’s pages. Upon further investigation it turned out that it was a Mega Man 2 novel.

I think my arm transformed into a cannon at that moment. I proceeded to blast the classroom door off with a single precise shot and raced home as fast as I could. After entering my mother’s room and besting her in battle, I received the “Please Mommy Buy This For Me” power. Thankfully, she forked over the money and in a couple of weeks; the book came into my anxious hands that fateful day.

I swear to God it was the best damn book I have ever read at the time. Just the fact that one of my favorite games of all time was novelized was the most brilliant idea ever for me at that point in my life. I probably re-read the book dozens upon dozens of times that year in school.

Unfortunately, tragedy struck. At the end of the school year I accidently left the book behind during the traditional end of the year locker clean up. I actually took the loss pretty well, because as great as I thought the book was, nothing would even come close to actually playing the game. But story does not end there. A couple of years ago, it was an average, dull day in the Ice Arena Pro-Shop, where I worked at the time.  The only computer I had access to had severely filtered internet, but I was able to browse Wikipedia to my heart’s content. I was reading up on Mega Man articles on the off chance I would learn something new when I suddenly remembered the Mega Man 2 novel.  Before I knew it I was on eBay, and I easily found a copy of the book. The asking price only required an old, wrinkled American dollar, so I ended up happily purchasing the book right then and there. About a week later, I found the book in my mail box. I dropped everything I was doing and read through the book in one sitting.

Now that I’ve had a few years of owning Worlds of Power: Mega Man 2 in my adult life, I thought it would be a fun idea to revisit the book yet again and share my thoughts to all of you.  Join me, get your weapons ready, and let us blast our way through the Mega Man 2 novel!

Air Man. Art from pressthebuttons.com

Air Man was the scariest looking robot that Mega Man had ever seen.  He was big and he was strong, but the scary thing about him was his mouth.

Air Man’s mouth was a huge, gaping hole that took in air and then blew it out in terrible gusts.  Even though he was a robot, his body seemed like it was made out of clouds.  As he moved, wisps of fog drifted off his pointed shoulders.  Miniature tornadoes flew from his mouth, pointing their tails straight as Mega Man.

Air Man stood with his back against a wall, spitting out hundreds of tornadoes.

“Destroying you will be a breeze, Mega Man!” he shouted.

Wow.  Just…wow.  How many things are wrong with this picture?  Granted, this is a preview of the action to come before the adventure even begins. Maybe the rest of the book is better, but still, I have to tear this apart.

First of all, AIR MAN IS NOT MADE OF CLOUDS!  Yes, the author said, “even though he was a robot,” but still.  C’mon, man!  All the robots are made of metal! Or maybe some sort of metallic material! And they don’t look like anything other than that material! The point is Air Man isn’t a cloud! He doesn’t look like a cloud! Everyone knows that Air Man eats clouds for breakfast and shits thunderstorms! I would hate to think what would happen if this author wrote a Final Fantasy VII novel. I can see it now…

Cloud jumped from the top of a rusty train in Sector 7, ready for action as Shinra soldiers donning blue armor and night vision goggles charged right at him.

But Cloud floated down gracefully with his purple uniform bought by his parent’s at the dollar store.  This was because Cloud’s parents were the clouds itself.  They don’t make much money and aren’t very bright, hence the name.

And while I enjoy an incredibly lame pun as much as the next man, I slapped my forehead when reading Air Man’s deadly threat.  I’m surprised Mega Man didn’t blow up immediately after hearing it from the sheer awfulness of that pun!

I’ll give the author credit for being creative, but I guess the point I was trying to make in the first place is this:  One of my pet peeves when video games are put in the hands of other entertainment mediums is the unnecessary changes that inevitably happen. Just describe Air Man as he appears! What I imagine is some cloud with a “gaping hole” awkwardly staring at Mega Man firing enough tornados to fill the entire screen! I guess if that were the case, the memetic “I Can’t Beat Air Man” song would actually make sense.

Return to Primary Ignition tomorrow for Part II, as Justin examines the book, awkward chapter by awkward chapter.

Image courtesy of the dredges that is the internet.

By Eric Stuckart
Creator, Destroyer

According to their blog, Halo creator Bungie has sold their souls to formed an “exclusive, worldwide partnership” with Activision. Owned by Microsoft until 2007, the studio is responsible for the nerd rage-athon that is collectively known as the Halo franchise.

Teabaggers rejoice, though, while Bungie may be dealing with the devil, especially after the neverending soap opera that is the Activision/Infinity Ward pissing contest, that they still “remain an independent company and will continue to own their intellectual property” and that “Activision will have exclusive, worldwide rights to publish and distribute all future Bungie games based on the new intellectual property on multiple platforms and devices.”

Basically, this means that Bungie is using their power and popularity to get the biggest bully in school to do all the dirty work for them, but only for their next big project. Despite the fact that they’ve been reportedly working with Activision for the past nine months, it still comes as a shock that they would announce this in light of Activision’s growing problems with their own development teams. Good luck to them.

For more information, read the rest here.

TITLE: No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle
PLATFORM: Wii
PUBLISHER: Ubisoft
DEVELOPER: Grasshopper Manufacture
ESRB: M
RELEASED: January 2010

By Justin Polak
Co-Founder, Ambassador to the Mushroom Kingdom

I was a huge fan of No More Heroes. What can I say? I love quirky games, and I always keep an eye out for them. Though they generally rarely have the same production values of something like Call of Duty, I find games like NMH to have a certain charm about them.

Naturally, I was elated when word got out that No More Heroes 2 was being developed, especially since both real life and the game itself made it unclear if a sequel would even be produced. Does it hold up as well as the first, or did director Suda 51 lose his magic touch?

The very first detail players will notice upon playing is No More Heroes 2 has a far more serious tone than the first, though it only gets really serious during the game’s opening and ending. Otherwise, NMH2 provides plenty of hilarious moments and silly sequences. Anyone who is familiar with the first game will laugh out loud hearing the first conversation between Travis and Sylvia, for example.

Another change is that there is no more overworld to traverse. Instead of a Grand Theft Auto-like sandbox environment, you are treated to a menu system that shows a map of the city and where each location you can visit is. I have mixed feelings about this. At first, I was happy they axed the free roam element of NMH because driving to most of the activities seemed like a method of artificially extending the length of the game. The map system in NMH2 makes the game seem much more streamlined and smooth, but I think it would have been perfect if Grasshopper Manufacture thought of a way to integrate both styles together. That being said, I wouldn’t want to deal with any free roaming elements if driving from place to place was as boring as the original game.

What also bothered me is that the levels are shorter. In the first game some levels ran too long, and while the fighting was fun, it got real repetitive rather quickly. Instead of trying to legitimately address this issue, the only real change made is that the levels are shorter. This may sound like a logical solution, but a few extra moves in battle doesn’t mask the fact that you are simply moving from room to room, clearing enemies. Most action games are guilty of this, but good ones trick you into not noticing the boredom. Shortening the levels pointed out the repetitive nature that NMH sometimes falls into.

What has improved without a doubt is the soundtrack. I fell in love with the first game’s soundtrack, so I was pleasantly surprised listening to NMH2. Although a few tracks are recycled from NMH and they once again hammer many variations of the main theme in your head, the soundtrack does not disappoint. In fact, some of the music is downright catchy and will be engraved in your head after only one listen! To me, this mainly applies to the Rank 4 boss.

The mini-games also outshine the ones found in NMH. All but one mini game resembles something out of the 8-bit era of video games. There are even unfair exploits from both the player and AIs side of things! I don’t know if that was done purposely or not, but I felt complimented the mock NES style. It also helps that a good majority of them are molded after classic titles. Even the training mini games have a similar style! My personal favorites would have to be “Lay the Pipe” and “Tile in Style.”

Even the boss fights have more variety. Though there are too many bosses where the strategy is to simply attack/dodge/attack, there are an equal number of them that stand apart from the rest. One of the best fights involves a giant mecha-boss battle, like something seen out of the anime series Gundam. I was also very pleased to play as someone else other than Travis. Since the character in question can actually jump, you will find yourself in a boss fight that is different simply because of that basic mechanic.

Last but not least, NMH2 has much better style and animation. While there are certainly better looking games on the Wii, NMH2 blows the original out of the water. As simple as this may sound, it’s nice to see clothes and hair move, especially since those kinds of details were absent in NMH.  Though this is mainly due to the new double beam katana weapon, a lot of the death animations truly make you feel that you are a ruthless assassin, and it is somehow plausible that the human body has about sixty gallons of blood in it.

Overall, NMH2 is a better game than the first. It’s not light-years ahead of it by any means, but it is very clear that more thought and effort was put into this installment. I wish it would have been loads better, but as the end credits rolled by, I was satisfied with the results.

RATING: 7.5/10

TITLE: Final Fantasy XIII
PLATFORM: PS3, Xbox 360
PUBLISHER: Square Enix
DEVELOPER: Square Enix
ESRB: M
RELEASED: March 2010

By Justin Polak
Co-Founder, Ambassador to the Mushroom Kingdom

There are gamers who consider Final Fantasy to be a dead franchise. Depending on who you ask, most of them would say the series went the way of the dinosaur at the end of the SNES era, or sometime within the Playstation era. Although I have never been that cynical, I will admit that I haven’t enjoyed newer installments of the Final Fantasy series as much as their older brothers. I suppose you could chalk it up to being a seasoned gamer, living an adult life, or simply irremovable nostalgia glasses.

Having said that, Final Fantasy XIII gave me hope. Like a crack of light glimmering in deep darkness, it is my belief that FFXIII could be a dawn of a new era in the series. I can honestly say what the game does right far outweighs any and all missteps.

Most of my opinion stems from the incredibly fun and massively addicting battle system.  FFXIII takes the old and tired Active Time Battle system and distorts it into a whole new monster. Instead of waiting for the ATB gauge to fill up to input commands, you do the opposite. Whether you choose to let the AI to do it for you, or input them manually yourself, the system is designed for commands to be selected before the ATB gauge is full. Once full, your character launches all attacks in a row without any magic or ability point restriction. The other two characters are controlled by the AI, but they make the right choices a good portion of the time.  Obviously, enemies work the same way, but as long as the character you control survives the battle, you have no worries. Plus, your HP is restored after each battle too!

Sounds easy, right? Well, it is a lot easier to get slaughtered in FFXIII than in any other Final Fantasy game. Although you restart outside of the battle you are in if you lose, some normal groups of baddies are downright vile and will wipe the floor with you in the blink of an eye if you aren’t careful. For every instance FFXIII seems to make life easier, another setback or two rears its ugly head to make life difficult.

That’s where the Paradigm system comes in, in which eventually all characters can switch in between six different roles in battle. Need an enemy quickly out of the way? Two Commandos and a Ravager will do! But what if you underestimated the strength of the enemies? No problem, have a Sentinel distract them, a Medic lick the party’s wounds, and a Synergist boost all defenses. Hell, maybe you should switch to a Saboteur to crack your opponent’s defenses instead.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. You can upgrade any weapon or accessory with items found in the field or spoils dropped at the end of battle. I personally had a powerhouse team with fully upgraded weapons from the beginning of the game. Imagine what I could have done if I bothered to upgrade weapons found near the game’s finale.

As expected of Square-Enix, FFXIII is jaw droppingly gorgeous most of the time.  It’s nice to see almost no difference between cinema sequences and the game engine. Also, major points go to localization for FINALLY having lip synching match the English language. Something that always bothers me is when I can tell dialogue or speech patterns were altered so voice actors have adjust to Japanese lip movements. Remember how Yuna sounded like she was half drugged throughout FFX? Well, there’s your problem. Thanks to the amount of effort put forth on all fronts visually, FFXIII is a pleasure to look at, even if you have a boring, old standard TV like me.

Although the story is a typical Final Fantasy narrative, there are a few things to keep it interesting. The plot is (surprise, surprise) a tale of a young group of warriors to save the world, what kept me hooked on the story is the suburb character interaction. The cast of FFXIII is the first band of heroes I truly cared about since Final Fantasy IX.

The music is also top notch. I felt the soundtrack composed by Masashi Hamauzu fit FFXIII like a glove. As a self admitted insane fanboy of Nobuo Uematsu, I was relieved to hear that another artist could skillfully grab a hold of the musical reins in a Final Fantasy game. Just about every battle theme is absolutely epic, the theme song can easily latch on to your brain, and the soundtrack compliments all story sequences. However, I have to take points off for the use of J-pop and unnecessary lyrics in some of the tracks, like the Chocobo theme.  It’s very odd and annoying traversing a long dungeon while hearing the same lyrics many, many times.

Speaking of dungeons, that’s where I feel FFXIII takes a huge misstep.  Most of the game is linear, and that wouldn’t be so much of a problem if you weren’t thrown into one dungeon after another constantly. While the game does do a good job of breaking up the action with story sequences, the dungeons are way too lengthy.

In fact, thanks to the linear nature of the game and the overly huge dungeons, I felt that a lot of key components were missing that really make a Final Fantasy feel like the glory days of old.  I miss traveling from town to town, walking on a world map, and searching for Ultimate Weapons, and side quests that add to the back story of the game.

Half the fun of any Final Fantasy was reaching the point where your quest is almost over and bolting from one end of the world map to the other to fight some crazy hard optional boss that requires a damn good exploit of the game’s system and a little luck. Though there are missions you can take on to earn nifty bonuses scattered throughout the last third of the game, it felt like too much of an after thought, like the developers just randomly threw that aspect of the game in there.

FFXIII is a step in the right direction. If the series keeps up with returning to the days of innovative battle systems and well developed characters, maybe…just maybe the day will come when we will see another Final Fantasy that can make an impact on the RPG world like, love it or hate it, Final Fantasy VII did. I never expected any Final Fantasy game to make me feel that elated ever again. But Final Fantasy XIII is that glimmering light in the middle of darkness.

RATING: 7.5/10