By Seth Miller
Staff Writer, Part-Time Ninja
Correction from last week: The Bolton spy who has infiltrated the Night’s Watch is named Locke, not Griff. But I don’t have to worry about making that mistake again, considering Locke and the mutineers at Craster’s Keep are all dead. This episode revealed a lot of important information and ended with the good guys getting a win, a rarity for this show. To be frank, there has been a lot of dark stuff these past few episodes, and the fans needed to see some really bad people get what they deserved.
- The big thing that happened in this episode was Jon Snow’s assault on Craster’s Keep. The mutineers continue their trend of begging to be killed and Jon Snow’s group delivered. The Rangers attack the keep and start taking down the mutineers. At the same time, the Bolton henchman, Locke, kidnaps Bran but Bran does his Warg trick and takes control of Hodor. With Hodor in his control, Bran grabs Locke by the throat and snaps his neck. Jon catches up with Karl, the leader of the mutineers, and a fantastic sword fight takes place. Just when it looks like Jon has lost, one of Craster’s wives stabs Karl in the back and then Jon stabs him through the mouth (I cannot even begin to describe how awesome this moment was). To round things out, Ghost ate the mutineer who sacrificed Craster’s last son. These were some truly awful people and seeing them get taken out felt like the good guys may actually have a chance.
- Littlefinger and Sansa arrive at the Eyrie, and the Eyrie is just as crazy as ever. Littlefinger is getting married to Catelyn Stark’s sister, Lysa, who has wanted Littlefinger since they were young. Lysa finally marries Littlefinger, and literally five minutes after they arrive they consummate their marriage. She made sure everybody knew about it too, as she screamed all night long. But the crazy cannot be contained for long: Lysa is jealous of Sansa and believes she is sleeping with Littlefinger. Lysa almost breaks Sansa’s hand, but Sansa is able to convince Lysa there is nothing going on with Littlefinger. Making sure the Lannisters don’t have the market cornered on incest, Sansa is supposed to marry her cousin, Robin, once Tyrion is executed. To refresh your memory, Robin is the boy who was still breast-feeding from Lysa. At this point, Littlefinger has traded one castle of crazy for another…
-The answer to the original mystery of the show has finally been solved. Game of Thrones started with a murder mystery. The victim was Jon Arryn, King Robert’s first Hand of the King, whose death started the war between the Starks and the Lannisters. As it turns out, it was Lysa Arryn who poisoned her husband and she did it on orders from Littlefinger. They say you should always look at who benefited the most from someone’s death to figure out who killed them. In retrospect it seems rather obvious, the most powerful houses are weakened and Littlefinger has become the lord of two of the Seven Kingdoms. Littlefinger gets more power while everyone is losing it, and Lysa gets the man of her dreams.
- It looks like we are going to have to wait a little bit longer for Daenerys to get to Westeros. She has the ships and an army, but it is still not enough to guarantee victory. Also, the cities she conquered last season have fallen back into hands of slavers and warlords. Daenerys believes she won’t be able to rule Westeros if she can’t handle three cities and decides to rule Slaver’s Bay. This may be delaying what we all want to happen, but she doesn’t have a large army and her dragons are still small. It makes sense for her to stay in Mereen. I just hope it doesn’t drag on forever.
- In an event rarer than a solar eclipse or a double rainbow, Cersei showed her softer side this week. She’s trying to protect her remaining children, while at the same time making sure Tyrion will be convicted. She actually seems to be forging a bond with Margaery, because they both want what is best for Tommen. I think Margaery ruined that relationship by reminding Cersei that she will be her sister and mother-in-law soon.
- Cersei movies on to Tywin and is given the worst news any Lannister could hear. The gold mines the Lannister wealth is built on have run dry. The Lannisters are broke, and the Iron Bank of Braavos is demanding their money. While this is bad news, Cersei remains focused on the task of protecting Tommen and making sure Tyrion is convicted by reminding Tywin how much he hates Tyrion. We also see a conversation between Cersei and Oberyn. While she is still making sure Tyrion is found guilty, the conversation is also to check in on her daughter, Myrcella.
- Oberyn assures her that Myrcella is happy in Dorne and Cersei asks Oberyn to give her daughter a ship she had constructed for her. While she is working to make sure Tyion is found guilty, it was nice seeing a side Cersei that wasn’t horrible to everyone.
- Brienne and Pod are on a road trip and hijinks ensue. Pod can’t ride a horse and doesn’t realize you have to skin a rabbit before cooking it. rienne is frustrated by Pod, but finally warms up to him when he describes how he killed a man to save Tyrion during the Battle of the Blackwater. These two are going to be my second favorite odd couple on this show.
- Arya and The Hound still occupy the number one spot on that list. This time around we hear Arya list off the names of people she is going to kill. The duo share a moment when the both realize they want to kill The Mountain. But that moment is broken when Arya names The Hound. Later, The Hound catches Arya practicing with her sword and criticizes her fighting style. This pisses off Arya considering her teacher, Syrio Florel, was killed back in season 1. He makes it worse by insulting Syrio for not having a sword or armor when he was attacked. Arya tries to stab him, which doesn’t work, gets slapped in the face, and The Hound dispenses more of his harsh truths on Arya. She gets a crash course from The Hound about the vicious men who rise to power in Westeros, which is only going to make her a more dangerous killer
- Random thought: How far away could people hear Lysa’s screaming?
- Favorite moment: Jon stabbing Karl in the mouth. So happy to see someone who is absolutely horrible get killed on this show.
Front page image/image 1 from winteriscoming.net. Image 2 from projectfandom.com. Image 3 from thehollywoodgossip.com. Image 4 from forbes.com.
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