“Comics You Should Be Reading” is a new column, exclusive to Primary Ignition, in which Seth Miller talks about the comics that you should pick up RIGHT NOW.

TITLE: Atomic Robo
AUTHOR: Brian Clevinger
ARTIST: Scott Wegener
PUBLISHER: Red 5 Comics

When I go to the comic shop on Wednesday, there are a few comic books that I never leave the store without. Anything Green Lantern related, Captain America, The Goon, and whatever Brian K. Vaughan writes. But there is one comic I will always get no matter what: Atomic Robo.

Granted, the title sounds pretty lame, the book is full humor, action, and references to every concept in sci-fi, comics and geek culture. The series follows the adventures of Atomic Robo, a robot developed in 1923 by Nikola Tesla who develops emotions and goes on to create Tesladyne, a corporation that develops experimental technology and fight threats that no one else can deal with. The book covers Robo’s various adventures from the 1920s to the present day as he fights with enemies like super-intelligent dinosaurs, Nazi scientists, Cthulu, and Stephen Hawking.

Writer Brian Clevinger takes the reader back to a time before comics like Watchmen, when comics were about the insane situations that our characters get into while combining it with some modern sensibilities and smart-ass humor. The storylines are designed for those that want something different than the traditional narrative of today’s comics, which are filled with retcons, deaths & resurrections, Grant Morrison going apeshit on continuity, or just setups for another big event series that is “going to change the comic book universe.” Atomic Robo is a welcome relief to comic fans by not just providing action and storylines free from the trends in other comics, but by giving the fans a comic that sounds like they wrote it.

Atomic Robo #2, page 4. Art from DragonManComics.com.

When Robo fights Nazi robots, giant bugs, or even Thomas Edison; whatever Robo says is pretty much what a comic book reader would say in that situation. In the first issue, a Nazi scientist has a magic heart implanted in his own chest to give him superpowers, and he brags about it. Robo then thanks him for telling him about his weakness and blows the heart up with lightning gun. Robo is speaking for the comic book fan, and the character pulls it off.

The art is good but not as great as the writing. Artist Scott Wegener’s work compliments Clevinger’s writing and does a good job of representing the action in the book. But aside from that there is nothing really that stands out about the art. It’s clear that the art is definitely getting better as the series continues, but it is still not equal to the writing.

While the art may not be the best, Clevinger creates an insane world that is suited for a sarcastic robot whom, despite his vast intelligence, will always solve his problems with the proper balance punches, guns, and smashing cars. This is definitely a cult favorite and it should be the biggest comic on the market. Know how it can become the biggest comic today? It involves you comic book lovers going to your store and demanding that they sell Atomic Robo, and purchasing the trade paperbacks.

For Tesladyne, for action science, for Robo!

Front page image from MichaelMay.us.

By Justin Polak
Co-Founder, Ambassador to the Mushroom Kingdom

On May 21, Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back celebrated it’s 30th anniversary. One of the biggest regrets of my life is that I wasn’t able to see the movie in theaters in 1980. I was kind of hindered, considering I was two years away from being born, but I can’t help but feel the way I do. If time travel is ever invented, I am sure you could guess what I would do with it. So what are my ten reasons for loving this film as much as I do? Read on, my friends.

10. Connections to Shadows of the Empire—Only I would hype up a film so much and have my first reason based on an expanded universe novel. Shadows of the Empire is a multimedia project that was released in 1996. This project was unimaginably huge, and it centered around a novel that took place between Empire and Return of the Jedi. Besides the Thrawn trilogy written in the early 90’s, Shadows of the Empire is the only expanded universe novel that makes sense in the Star Wars universe to me. It’s almost like a fourth film. A bounty hunter known as IG-88 was inserted in the bounty hunter scene in the special edition of Empire. It’s the only addition in every special edition that added something for more hardcore Star Wars fans without being too distracting. For those of you not in the know, IG-88 was Boba Fett’s main competition in Shadows of the Empire, nearly snatching a frozen Han Solo from his grasp. He made for a tough battle in the video game as well!

9. The Music—Oh sure, Empire gave us the iconic “Imperial March.” However, I feel the entire score is unmatched by any film. This is John Williams at his finest hour, and it shows. The best track from the film has to be Yoda’s theme. The scene where he uses the Force to lift Luke’s X-Wing out of the swamp is simply magical. And who could forget the adrenaline pumping scene where Han Solo recklessly navigates the Millennium Falcon into an asteroid field? That scene wouldn’t have been nearly as effective without the music guiding the action.

8. Developed Characters — Empire had better character development than the other two films in the original trilogy.  Sure, Return of the Jedi may have wrapped all of the loose ends, but it’s always more fun to see characters at their lowest point before they get their triumphant moments. For example, watching Han Solo turn from a scoundrel into a selfless hero was perfectly executed. It was also fun to see Luke get his first real taste of the Force. Sure, he may have taken his first steps into a larger world spending time with Obi-Wan, but Yoda caused him to take limitless strides. When I was new to A New Hope ages ago, I thought I wanted more of what I saw in that movie. But when I first saw the credits roll after Empire, I realized that I actually got to know Luke, Han, and the others a lot better. They seemed like real people to me, and I cared about their plights more than ever.

Photo from NerdFitness.com.

7. Yoda — When I watch Empire, it never ever occurs to me that Yoda is a puppet manipulated by Frank Oz. As far as my mind is concerned, Yoda actually exists. I guess that’s why the CGI Yoda in the last two prequel movies offends me so much. It was cool to see Yoda do more things than look wise and spout philosophy, but nothing will EVER beat any of Yoda’s scenes in Empire. Major props also go to Mark Hamill for giving an awesome performance that made Yoda seem real for all of us. Think about it for a second. What was on the set with Mark? A puppet, a fake swamp and random reptiles were the only other items on camera. It takes a talented actor to film in such a lonely, depressing environment to make a puppet seem real as you or me.

6. Han Solo/Harrison Ford — I have a man crush on Harrison Ford. While his portrayal of Indiana Jones was enough to make me feel this way, his performance as Han Solo sparked something within my very soul as a child. Even though I was always the one who wanted to play Luke Skywalker when I was a kid, I don’t blame anyone for wanting to be Han Solo. Harrison Ford is just that cool. He gets the girl, performs debatably better heroics than Luke and has the balls to shoot at Darth Vader without any hesitation.

5. More Focused Development of the Force — While the Force seemed interesting in the original movie, I credit Empire for truly shaping the concept of the Force. While Luke did use the Force to help him shoot the proton torpedoes into the Death Star thermal exhaust, it was in Empire that we were properly shown how the Force can manipulate objects themselves. I jumped when I first saw an inexperienced Luke telekinetically grab his lightsaber in order to defend himself from a Wampa attack. We also see a power that was used a ton in the prequel trilogy: super-athleticism. When Luke jumps out of the carbon freezing chamber and reaches an impossible height impresses me every time I watch it.

Image from Nartube.com.

4. Foreshadowing — Well, with The Emperor, mainly. Even though the DVD releases retconned the original scene out of existence, I still like that version better. I was terrified of The Emperor as a child. If those glowing eyes weren’t enough, the giant hologram, intimidating voice and downright scary scenery made a huge impression on me. The Emperor was built up perfectly in Empire. It blew my mind that there was someone out there worse than Vader. Sure, the Emperor was mentioned in A New Hope, but I thought he was only a figurehead! Thankfully, Lucas ended up proving me wrong!

3. Downer Ending — When I was a kid, I showed the entire original trilogy to a friend of mine. As Empire’s ending transitioned into the credits, two words came out of his mouth: “That’s it?!” He loved the movie, but he couldn’t believe it ended on such a down note. I then informed him that fans originally had to wait three years before seeing Jedi. The look on his face was priceless. It took balls to follow A New Hope with such a radically different act, especially one that ends with Luke’s hand cut off, the devastating news of the Skywalker heritage, the rebellion in shambles and Han Solo frozen in carbonite. I don’t normally like downer endings, but I’ll make an exception for the best film of all time.

2. Better Special Effects — A New Hope, needless to say, had groundbreaking special effects that changed the movie industry forever. Empire flawlessly followed suit with mind-blowing effects that put the original film to shame. The lightsabers looked loads better, for example. Also, how awesome was the Hoth battle sequence? It is absurdly hard to use bluescreen effects on a white background, but the folks at Industrial Light and Magic pulled it off! Don’t even get me started on the space battles. It always bothered me that the Millennium Falcon barley moved in A New Hope. It was nice to see that Han could actually pull off those daring maneuvers he was boasting about.

Photo from ScrapeTV.com.

1. Luke Skywalker vs. Darth Vader — Without a doubt, Luke vs. Vader in Empire is the best lightsaber fight in the Star Wars saga. This is not up for debate. The emotion behind the fight is so powerful. The whole fight, Luke thinks he is battling an evil man who killed his father. Vader toys with him physically and emotionally, especially when Vader drops the spoiler to end all spoilers: “I am your father!” Of course, Luke was also reeling from the extreme pain from having a lightsaber effortlessly cut through his hand. I always loved the fact that when Vader gets hit, he immediately counters with a limb removing swipe. You know he had to be thinking: “That’s it, time to put him in his place!”  The scenery was perfect, too. From the spooky lighting in the carbon chamber room to dizzying heights within the central air shaft, every frame during the battle is perfect. No amount of fast, coordinated lightsaber action seen in the prequels can come close to the sheer awesomeness of this excellent battle.

I can watch The Empire Strikes Back countless times and it will never get old to me. Other movies may have come close, but I don’t think any other film will break the stranglehold it has on me. The best act in a three part story is usually the second one, and this film is the best example that anyone will ever see.

Front page image from thefastertimes.com

By Kelly Fisher
Staff Writer, The Chosen One

Do you ever wonder what happens to pop/metal/anarchist/assless spandex wearing icons a decade after they’ve hit their peak? Well I do, at least from time to time. So imagine my surprise when perusing the interwebs not long ago, finding this.

Image from facebook.com

Apparently Marilyn Manson is now filling his time by painting watercolor portraits of LOST characters and posting them to his Facebook. You can take a minute if you need it to let that sink in. I did. There are several things I found horribly wrong with this…

A: Manson has a Facebook. A Facebook that he actually updates with his watercolor paintings. Watercolor is sooo not hardcore. Manson should be molding things with rough clay or at the very least painting with thick dark oil paints or something; right?

B: Manson is obsessed with LOST. Not only is he obsessed with crappy television, he insists on updating the aforementioned facebook with quippy little bits about his television adventures with bandmate Twiggy Ramirez.

C: Manson used to be an icon for all of the dispossessed. Angst-filled teenagers the world over would have enjoyed nothing more than to see his pasty bare ass on stage, because dammit he understood them. What kind of role model is he now, huh? I bet he’s all “oh art is therapeutic” and “I no longer feel the need to write anger-driven songs, because now I have the sweet caress of television.”

Now, I will be the first to admit I am not a LOST fan. I watched one episode and didn’t really feel the need to glue myself to a couch once a week in hopes of finding out what demonic forces are keeping a group of strangers on an island. Well, apparently I was wrong. I can’t go anywhere in life without hearing something about LOST. Seeing a LOST-themed t-shirt or hearing one of my less favorite friends talk about an episode at this point just makes me want to go into a rage of Incredible Hulk proportions.

That being said, I never imagined such a fate for Manson. I was never a huuuge fan per se; however, I was one of those kids who wore a Coal Chamber shirt at least once a week to high school. Manson kind of embodied a lot of that brooding sub-culture for me at that time. And to see that he is now spending his time in such a way kind of makes me yearn for a better time, a simpler time, a time with less watercolor and more black eyeliner.

By Kelly Fisher
Staff Writer, The Chosen One

Image from bso.org

I love Amanda Palmer. I love that she is bringing a sense of theatrics and actual showmanship back to music. I love that she has this whimsical/possibly fictional marriage to Neil Gaiman, of whom I have the utmost respect. I love, love, love her music.

Yet, I am at a loss as to how I should feel about her newest project, Evelyn Evelyn. If you haven’t heard of it, you can read the back story on her blog. Basically, Evelyn Evelyn is Amanda Palmer and Jason Webley dressing in what is now known as “crip drag” (it’s literally a specially constructed two-person dress), pretending to be conjoined twins Eve and Lyn. The plot thickens. They are not only pretending to be conjoined twins, but conjoined twins who were in the circus and molested as children. The twins are then rescued by Palmer and Webley and allowed to make the music they always dreamed of.

Now, when I first heard of this project I thought it was hilarious. The story is campy, absurd and a bit perverse. I then went on to listen to the album, which I have to admit is pretty good. The music itself is quirky and fun, and the album does a good job of maintaining the air of absolute seriousness that surrounds the project (Webley and Palmer to this day refuse to admit they are in fact Eve and Lyn). I did however notice something missing. There are no songs about the twins dealing with their disability, their abuse, or their tumultuous childhood. This confused me. Palmer is known for her lyrics about mental illness, physical/emotional abuse, physical disability and transgender/identity issues. She has not only written about these topics, but has been applauded for her sympathy and support in their respective causes. That is, up until now.

The first and most passionate opposition to the project seems to have been voiced by DisabledFeminists.com blogger “Annaham.” Annaham says: “…there is a chasm of difference between at least acknowledging that there are people like this (in this case, conjoined twins) who do exist and that they probably are affected by ableism [“discrimination or prejudice against individuals with disabilities” —merriam-webster.com], and outright appropriation of this uniqueness in the name of art.”

She adds: “This is particularly disappointing given that Palmer has written some great, quite un-stereotypical songs about PWDs [people with disabilities –ed.] and people with mental health conditions… There are other, more creative ways to portray people with disabilities that don’t rely on facile stereotypes or on the ways that PWDs are already represented in popular culture… Representing Evelyn Evelyn as variously inspiring, freakish, weird and a ‘wonder’ just reinforces existing stereotypes about PWDs…”

Palmer and Justin Webley (right), known here as Evelyn Evelyn. Photo from theendofirony.net

Palmer tried to backpeddle at this point by posting a more in-depth backstory of Evelyn Evelyn on her blog. Unfortunately, that didn’t help. In fact it seemed to have fueled the fire, sparking some nasty comments. Some went so far as to compare Palmer and Webley in Evelyn Evelyn costume to white people wearing blackface. The controversy really blew up when Palmer tweeted that she was putting “disabled feminists” at her “mental periphery” in order to focus on her daily work. Palmer likely just meant that she was setting the issue aside for a bit, but the already angry objectors interpreted the statement as Palmer willingly further marginalizing disabled people and feminists.

Palmer once again responded in detail, saying: “offending or belittling disabled people or people who have a history of sexual abuse could not be farther from our intention. we generally don’t like to offend and belittle ANYONE, but if there is anybody that we especially don’t want to alienate with this project, it is the people who might already feel marginalized and dismissed in our society. especially when that type of alienation is a major recurring theme throughout the whole Evelyn Evelyn record.”

I think at this point she is just beating a dead horse in even trying to apologize or justify this project. Whether or not her intentions were admirable (I believe they were), she has offended people. I don’t think at this point anyone is questioning her intentions, but rather the actual ramifications of her actions. The problem is that she does not actually know what it is like to have this particular disability. Nor does she know how it feels to have it thrown in her face in an obviously jovial and inconsequential manner. I for one truly do believe she did not set out to hurt anyone; however the fact remains that she has.

This lays the foundation for my Evelyn Evelyn inner debate. As I stated earlier, I love the theatrics of it all. When Palmer was carried on stage in a funeral shroud as Neil Gaiman read her eulogy at her performance in Chicago, I was amazed. The levels she goes to in order to create an environment for her music are as disturbing as they are beautiful. I believe that Palmer just wants to create another shocking environment for her audience, but in this case the circumstances are different. Like me, other fans are confused about how to feel. As of now, you can Google the band’s name, and your results will be a myriad of angry protestors and confused hipsters. I really wish I could continue to back Palmer on this; I still wholly enjoy the album and the videos that have been released thus far. Unfortunately, I now feel a bit guilty for liking it so much, and there is nothing I hate more than feeling feelings.

Read Annaham’s full response to Evelyn Evelyn here.

Read Amanda Palmer’s side of the story here.

Blatant Insubordination is a regular column published on Primary Ignition by Rob Siebert, co-editor and Fanboy Wonder.

I was saddened to hear last week that NBC is pulling the plug on Heroes. Not because it’s been particularly wonderful to watch lately. To be honest, I gave up watching several weeks ago. The whole show had just become too discombobulated for me. Characters kept switching from good to bad, or vise versa. Some people would have different superpowers at different times. Certain characters were either not evolving enough, or were simply changing too many times. The whole thing became kind of a mess.

But it was such a good show…at one point.

Photo from NYMag.com.

To say the least, the concept of people with superpowers wasn’t new when Heroes went on the air. But what made it unique, at least from my perspective, is that it was an ensemble show, about people from all walks of life, and how their powers effected their existence. We had an idealistic male nurse, a high school cheerleader, a Japanese paper pusher, a single mom, an aspiring senator, a serial murderer, among others. To its credit, Heroes started off as a very character-driven show. For me, that’s what made it interesting, and so much fun.

It also had some moderately recognizable faces in its cast. Ali Larter of Varsity Blues and Final Destination fame was there. As was Milo Ventimiglia, who’d been in Gilmore Girls and Rocky Balboa. Jack Coleman is also a veteran of TV and movies.

So…what happened?

Well, a variety of things happened. There wasn’t one particular ingredient that did the show in. I think most Heroes fans will tell you that season 1 was an unbridled home run. But after that, the show went through a lot of peaks and valleys.

One of the things I really liked about season 1 was that it followed a bunch of different story beats. The Petrelli family had one, the Bennet family had one, Sylar had one, Hiro and Ando, Matt Parkman, Niki Sanders, Mohinder Suresh, etc. For the most part, the characters didn’t interact with people outside their beat. But what they all had in common, powers or not, was their stories were all going to intersect in this big moment during the season finale.

But after that, the initial thrill of all these characters meeting was gone, so we lost some of that character intrigue. By season 3, they were regularly interacting with one another. I think that took a lot of the wind out of the show’s sails. Heroes was very much an ensemble show, but I think that ensemble should have been spread farther across the stage.

Photo from SciFiScoop.com.

The show also had a problem with characters juggling superpowers. This was especially true with Peter Petrelli and Sylar. Both represent classic character archetypes, the idealistic hero and the greedy, sadistic villain. We would later find out that both Sylar and Peter were “sponges” (my word, not the show’s), and that they could absorb and keep other people’s powers. For Sylar, this was used as a plot device. He was always greedy for more abilities, and the fact that he had to slice people’s skulls open to get them was a nice touch. But after awhile, especially after a couple of seasons, this got confusing. Particularly in Peter’s case, it became a constant question of: Alright, what power does he have this week? That wasn’t good, as Peter was such an important, moral center to the show, and it weakened his character.

With Sylar, I think the writers developed a bit of a Superman problem. Every season he got to be so powerful, they constantly had to come up with different ways to neutralize or debilitate him. He’d lose his powers, get captured by The Company, lose his memory, get brainwashed into thinking he was someone else. Like a lot of the creative teams who’ve written for Superman, it seemed like the Heroes staff was always struggling to come up with ways to challenge Sylar, so he couldn’t just kill everybody and call it a TV show. It seemed to work alright, but it was so much more fun just to watch Sylar be his sadistic, murderous self.

Image from Bebo.com.

The writers also placed too much importance on the Claire Bennet character for my taste. From a marketing standpoint, that made sense I suppose. Hayden Panettiere is a hot chick, and guys love to watch hot chicks. But too much of anything isn’t good. The common thread through Claire’s different story arcs was that she always seemed to be trying to “find herself,” and form an identity that had a foot in the normal world, and a foot in the “hero” world. But after awhile it got stale. That’s very much evident in the stunt they pulled during season 4, which saw her go away to college and get a lesbian roommate, who would later kiss her on the air. Cheap. Very cheap.

Characters were also prone to dying, then coming back to life. Ali Larter’s character was killed off in season 3. But we later learned she conveniently had a twin sister. The Nathan Petrelli character was killed off twice, and even after that, they had a brainwashed Sylar portray him (he was a shapeshifter at that point). The show seemed reluctant to trim the fat at certain points.

By season 3, the writing was on the wall. The show’s writing staff was changed. Whether the new writers lacked the proper perspective or grasp of the characters is anybody’s guess. Perhaps it was evident in the end product.

It’s just such a shame Heroes became what it did, and met the fate it did. As great as it was at times, it had the potential to be so much greater. But you can’t always get ratings with potential. Rumor has it NBC is considering bringing it back for a one-hour special or a TV movie to wrap up loose strings, so I suppose there’s still a chance it could go out on a high note.

Either way, we’ll always have season 1…

***WARNING: While still comforting and joyful, this edition of Justin’s Thoughts of Comfort and Joy contains some bad language.***

By Justin Polak
Co-Founder, Ambassador to the Mushroom Kingdom

When I was a child, I used to go visit my great grandmother’s house. Across the street from her house is where I met one of my best childhood friends, Mike. We used to play video games, rough house, watch TV, and generally run around and act like children. Even as a child I knew that I was living in a time where life was carefree.

One of our favorite hangouts was an old church about a block away from where my great grandmother lived. There was a public basketball court in the back and plenty of field to play in. No one who looked after Mike and I cared if we went there since it was so close by. Plus, my great grandfather helped build the church, and that amazed me as a kid since it is a beautiful building.

One day Mike, his younger brother and I went to play near the front of the church. I don’t remember what we did that day, but I do remember us relaxing afterward. We were just minding our own business talking about school, video game tips and having a good conversation.

Photo from c95.com.

Then I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. A station wagon was creeping up on us slowly. We were sitting in the grass about 15 feet away from the road. I felt like it was kind of odd, but the neighborhood had a reputation of having a lot of old people in it. I figured it was an old person driving carefully.

I got the first fact right. It was an old person…only he came to a dead stop near us and rolled down his window.

I was greeted with a stern, overweight, face. He barley had any of his gray hair left. His spectacles slightly magnified his eyes. I didn’t know what was about to happen, but I do remember thinking that he looked disgruntled. He proceeded to ask us if we were members of the church. When we all took our turns saying no he had this to say:

“Then get the f*** off of the lawn!”

I was shocked. Being a child, my feelings were hurt. We weren’t doing anything wrong. I thought we were at a place that promoted tolerance, but for some reason this guy had a huge problem with us hanging out at the church without being members. Since we were all so young, we didn’t offer any resistance and left. He made sure to slowly follow us with his car as he kept on calling us names and harassing us.

I viewed the world differently that day. I learned that there are mean sons of b****** that pick on you for absolutely no reason. Sure, I got picked on in school, but I thought everyone eventually grew out of bullying. I wished for another, proper confrontation with the old man in the worst way possible. I would let him have a piece of my mind, that’s for sure!

I nearly had my chance when I caught up to Mike while he was walking his dog one day. I got there just in time to see the old man pull away, and wouldn’t you know it, he was harassing Mike again…even though he wasn’t on the church’s property! I never had my second confrontation, and I never felt like I got closure on the matter.

I take comfort in the fact that this old man is dead now.

By Eric Stuckart
Creator, Destroyer

So I while I was doing my daily scouring of music and gaming news sites, I happened upon the new single from Korn, “Oildale”. You can listen to it here if you like; I’m not embedding it. Their new, ‘heavier’ sound sounds the same as their last few albums. It’s hard to believe that their latest release, the confusingly-titled Korn III: Remember Who You Are, is their ninth album.

Listening to this, it got me thinking about the Ozzfest 2010 announcement that came out at the end of last month. It’s been kicking around in my head for the last week, and it still rings with disappointment. On the surface, the festival sounds like they’re changing their game from “Look how much we can scare mom and dad” attempts with the lineup to “Let’s try and get mom and dad to come to the show, they have the monies.” But that thought ends after the headliners—from there on it’s pretty uninspiring.

Halford, Ozzy, and Mötley Crüe's Nikki Sixx. Photo taken from ozzfest.com

Headlining the main stage is Ozzy, Mötley Crüe and Judas Priest’s Rob Halford on a solo run, which makes sense. Priest is still pretty big with the older rockers, and despite not successfully releasing an album that would even register as ‘interesting’ since the 90s, Mötley Crüe still draws in a lot of people. For some reason, I will never understand, but bands like the Crüe, Poison, etc. are all a huge hit, even in 2010. I think it’s because people from my generation go because “LOL IRONY IS COOL” and the people from the next couple generations behind me grew up with this type of stuff, back when the only ‘metal’ music that was accepted by the mainstream had to involve spandex and hairspray.

Rounding out the main stage is DevilDriver and Nonpoint, and that’s where I kind of got confused. Now, I can understand DevilDriver to a point, but every time I listen to them, even when I can honestly say that I own one of their four albums on cd, I will never get over the fact that their lead singer, Bradley ‘Dez’ Fafara, used to handle vocal duties for Coal Chamber.

Coal Chamber. Photo from last.fm

We’ll pause for a minute there.

Coal Chamber was one of the bands that I listened to a ton—when I was 16. Now i’ll be the first to admit that I listened to a lot of crap when I was that age. Growing up, I started really listening to ‘metal’ when I was probably in eighth grade. I heard some Metallica and White Zombie and Pantera and thought that was all really cool stuff. However, that somehow that led me to listening to a lot of nü metal.

What’s nü metal, you ask? Oh boy, I’m glad you asked! Nü metal was a movement that started in the mid-90s, when kids that couldn’t pull off playing the thrash metal that they grew up on, and were far too angsty to try playing death metal, started just drop-tuning their guitars and railed against such trials and tribulations as their parents making them cut the grass and complaining because they were all unique snowflakes. Much of it featured rapped vocals, stupid haircuts, oversized clothing and probably the most simplistic guitar riffs ever written, but it was so that the kids could bounce to it.

Also known as ‘bounce metal’ (because of the aforementioned reason), it was a huge hit amongst suburban white teens, usually the ones who nobody liked in school, and bands capitalized on this. The kids already felt unliked, so they merely wrote songs that called out to them, sucking in many elephant-leg pant wearing kids like black hole in Hot Topic.

Rage Against the Machine. Photo from rockandmetal.com

Nü metal had its roots in bands like Faith No More, Helmet and Rage Against the Machine (and I suppose Korn, but they allowed themselves to be assimilated into the mediocrity shitwave), but unlike those three visionary bands, at the end of the day, these bands had nothing to say. Except maybe “Fuck you, dad!” But we were all teenagers, we all said that once. And then we realized we were immature douchebags.

However, this marketability had struck chords with the music business, who saw this, and it looked like a big fucking dollar sign waiting to explode all over them. So they snatched up any band that either a) featured a rapper and a singer, or b) looked ‘gothic industrial’ but sang about their shitty adolescent lives, and waited for the profit. This resulted in a glut of mediocre bands that all pretty much sounded like one of two sounds, and we all know what happens when a trend hits the saturation point—no one likes it anymore because it’s not ‘unique’, and it dies. Bands like Primer 55, Darwin’s Waiting Room, and From Zero flooded the market, and were all ignored like the turds that they were.

So anyways, around the turn of the millennia, nü metal died a slow and painful death, only to be replaced by a new trend that was a lot like the old trend, emo, screamo, and metalcore. I lump them all together, because at the time, these three types of bands could be seen playing shows together without the tough guy posturing that would end up happening by the middle of the decade, causing the major splintering and infighting. But the drawing factor was that all three of these genres also complained about something that really drew in the youngsters: romance.

So it was out with the old, and in with the new. Nü metal was officially dead, but we’re still stuck with Limp Bizkit, who thinks that they still have something relevant to say.

But all ranting aside, my point about DevilDriver was this. Coal Chamber broke up at what appeared to many as the death knell of nü metal, in 2003. Fafara met the DevilDriver guys in 2002, and jumped right into their band as vocalist in late 2003. Coincidence? I certainly don’t think so. And DevilDriver’s sound, you ask? Thrash metal, which because of the metalcore boom, was picking up a lot of momentum itstelf, in America at least. Metal never died in the rest of the world.

DevilDriver. Photo from atlmetal.com

So whenever I think of DevilDriver, it just makes me shake my head in disgust, because I know, I used to be one of those kids with the Powerman 5000 cds and the Coal Chamber shirts and thought I was the shit. And I’ve learned from my mistakes. And it sucks, because DevilDriver isn’t even that bad of a band. They’re not the most original, but they could certainly do much worse in terms of writing interesting songs, and they put on an energetic show, but that’s the one thing that comes to mind.

Back to Ozzfest 2010; I was shocked to hear that Nonpoint was even around still. When I was a senior in high school, they had released their debut album, Statement, and even at the height of my nü metal obsession I found it to be underwhelming. To find that they’re still underwhelming crowds, and playing on the main stage with Ozzy himself is just one in a long line of disappointments with the whole festival. I suppose at this point it’s moot.

As for the second stage, it’s Black Label Society (AKA Zakk Wylde’s Pinch Harmonic Extravaganza), along with Drowning Pool (still waiting for bodies to hit the floor), Kingdom of Sorrow, Goatwhore, Skeletonwitch, Saviours and Kataklysm. This is perhaps the first Ozzfest lineup that doesn’t even seem remotely interesting to me, and perhaps that’s commentary on the big business side of the metal scene.

I had heard a rumor a couple of times that in order to play on Ozzfest there’s an entrance fee in the tens of thousands of dollars range. Whether or not that’s true, I don’t know. But if it is, I have a feeling that these bands will be regretting it at the end of this tour. If it is successful, I’d like to hear how many of the attendees skipped the first seven or eight bands and showed up late. Which is a shame, because a few of those opening bands are decent in their own right (Skeletonwitch, Saviors, Goatwhore), but you couldn’t pay me to sit through another one of Black Label wankfests, let alone be anywhere near Drowning Pool.

By Justin Polak
Co-Founder, Ambassador to the Mushroom Kingdom

When I was a child, I would accompany my father to the bowling alley nearly once a week. He participated in a league, and he was very good as were a good chunk of the bowlers back then. In fact, he would end up bowling a few 300 games in his league career. I used to watch him in awe, wishing I could bowl just like him.

However, not even my dad’s masterful bowling skills could hold my attention every single time I went to the bowling alley. There was a small arcade, other children to socialize with, cheap snacks, and my wild imagination that helped me pass the time when bowling couldn’t remedy my boredom.

The bowling alley was classic. It reeked of cheap cigars. Bowlers had to keep track of their own score via projector. Carpet three times my age was worn out from years of customers. The walls were smoke stained. The sound of clanking of beer bottles occurred more often than the shattering of bowling pins. The ball returns never worked right. The bathrooms smelled like people simply defecated in the middle of the floor. The lighting was poor, shitty, and made everything a depressing yellowish-orange. I loved the place.

You could say that an important foundation of by childhood was planted in that bowling alley…But then one fateful night, everything would change forever.

Image from BuyCostumes.com.

One of my favorite toys was a small, rubber snake. If I was pretending to be Indiana Jones, I would use the snake as a makeshift whip, totally missing the irony of my imaginary scenario. One night, I decided to not only use the toy as intended, but I thought it would be a funny idea to scare people with it. I figured that no one would be stupid enough think the toy is real snake if I just set it down somewhere, so I decided I would hide somewhere and throw the toy snake at people as hard as I possibly could.

There were a set of lockers that bowlers use to store their equipment in that I could hide between. They were up against a wall, and I had three isles to choose from.  The lockers were near an exit, so I would run into plenty of people. To ensure that the snake was traveling at maximum velocity, I would make sure that I had a running start.

With glee, I put all of my strength into aiming for people’s faces. I really was determined to surprise people, so I shouted a warning, timing it so the snake was inches away from their face as they turned toward my voice. Everyone who came across my devious trap loved it. One guy even said that he wished that he thought of my prank as a kid. I was pumped up and full of confidence.

My next target was an old lady. Direct hit!  Except something was wrong…she wasn’t smiling. The old lady suddenly appeared to be stories above my own height. Her eyes glistened with pure rage. She wasted no time scolding me, telling me that I was a terrible child, and that I shouldn’t throw rubber snakes at people because it was rude.

My childhood died right then and there. If I couldn’t throw rubber snakes at people then what was the point of being a kid? I went home that night a changed person. I don’t think I ever played with that toy ever again. I also slowly stopped going to the bowling alley, and to this day my father does not know why. It was like a hole in my heart suddenly appeared, and was sucking my spirit into an unknown dimension.

I take comfort in the fact that this old lady is dead now.

By Justin Polak
Co-Founder, Ambassador to the Mushroom Kingdom

Most gamers scoff at the idea of casual games.  They feel that the are obliterating the video game industry beyond all repair. Hordes of solitaire jockeys, soccer moms, grandmas, and toddlers will dumb down video games in the long run.  They especially believe this when it’s reported how much of a success something like Farmville is.

For those of you who don’t know, casual games are usually defined as a video game or interactive software that is easy to jump into. This could be a lowly Facebook app, a paltry game found on a console, games that are on your PC (Freecell, Minesweeper), or any game that anyone can casually play. Hardcore gamers will even go as far to tell you that any game without a “real” challenge is casual.

Image from Gather.com.

However, I don’t believe casual games “dumb down” the gaming industry. In fact, I believe that casual games are helping the industry more than hurting it. Don’t get me wrong, I hate those Facebook apps with a smoldering passion, and I certainly care less about the mediocre stream of shovelware pouring out of consoles these days (Wii, I am looking at you).

The reason why I believe that casual games can potentially help the industry is simple:  My own childhood. I am guessing you might want me to elaborate on that. Well, I guess if I have to…

Anyone who played video games for more than an hour as a child from my generation will tell you that their parents bitched at them non-stop. You know what I am talking about: “Your grades are slipping because of them vidya games!” “Stop playing that Nintendo and go outside!” “No, you can’t save your game. Come eat dinner NOW!” Ah, memories. While my parents never were all that bad, I do remember a few heated arguments here and there because I played video games. Keep in mind that they played video games themselves, and not just Tetris! At least they weren’t bad as other parents I knew growing up.

An aunt and uncle hated video games. Well, mainly my uncle. They didn’t forbid playing video games, but they certainly just didn’t get it. My uncle often viewed them as a complete waste of time. If my cousins did anything wrong, the first thing he would do is take away the video games as punishment. He used to have an uncanny ability to detect when my cousins and I were playing games past our bed time during a sleepover. We had the volume all the way down and we never made a sound. Yet, it was inevitable what would happen every single time we tried.

“Turn it off!”

Guess what? That very same Uncle? He bought a Wii without any hesitation a few years ago. And no, not just for Wii Sports. Now, they may not have a copy of No More Heroes or Super Mario Galaxy, but it was very cool to see them jam to Guitar Hero and Rock Band. It also caught me by surprise when my Uncle was floored by the idea of XBox Live. Granted, it’s not something he would get into, but he was amazed that people all over the word can play a round of Slayer in Halo at anytime. Years prior to that he thought my cousin and I playing two-player NES games was anti-social behavior.

I think the community aspect that causal games bring to the table is what really wins over people from older generations. Thanks to Viking Clan, another Facebook app, my mom now understands many RPG terms that I grew up with. Because of that, she has a better understanding my love for RPGs. Again, I don’t care for Facebook apps, but I have to admit that it is very cool to see my mother geek out about leveling up, planning strategies, and just generally enjoying what is essentially a video game.

Gamers with a cynical outlook at casual games might tell you that the more those types of games are successful, the harder it will be to find a “legitimate” game. However, I think those gamers should think back to their childhood. Look back when video games were primarily played by children. Go take a look at your Atari or NES collection, or try to remember what games you used to own. Were all of the games you owned just as awesome as Space Invaders or Super Mario Bros? Hell no. Fact:  Shovleware and casual games have always existed.

My point is this: When people from my generation were all new to gaming, we didn’t really have any direction at all. We knew what a good game was, but we were also constantly duped or shafted into buying/receiving video games that were complete garbage. We played them anyway and we loved it.

My theory is this: As time goes by, you might see those soccer moms or middle aged people get into something a little deeper. Try to think of Shovelware and Facebook apps as a gateway to having casual gamers eventually play better games. If anything, I believe that casual gamers who don’t eventually move on to greener pastures will stop playing video games altogether. Not that the video game industry is in any serious trouble right now, but any business is better than no business. I’d rather see twenty releases designed for casuals a month if it meant one or two triple A titles can still come my way once in awhile.

At the end of that day, whether I am right or wrong, I am glad that gaming is something that is more accepted as more time passes by. Maybe it’s because I grew up in a time where most adults I came across were dismissive or rude about my video game habits, but it’s nice to see the same kind of people get into a hobby that I have loved for nearly all of my life. I don’t believe that casual games signify the eventual end of video games as us “real” gamers know it, but a new beginning full of limitless potential.

By Justin Polak
Co-Founder, Ambassador To The Mushroom Kingdom

I recently finished reading Death Note for a third time. Oddly enough, I have never seen the anime aside from catching an episode here and there. Most fans of Death Note seem to prefer the anime, but from what I have learned about it, I think the manga version is far superior.

I have come to learn that my stern opinion isn’t the only thing that most Death Note fans seem to disagree with. Just about every web forum I browse, every review I read, and every discussion I get into with fans point out one key opinion: the second arc sucked.

If you're being investigated by L, you don't want to see that look on his face. Art from onemanga.com

Most people consider the second story arc of Death Note to begin soon after L, the super quirky and highly intelligent investigator, is finally killed by one of Light’s cunning plans.  Light thought that after besting L in an intense game of cat and mouse, he would finally be free to shape the world as he sees fit, using the Death Note to kill off anyone who he deems evil. Since Light also gained control of the investigation team that was created by L, it seemed that there would be no one to stop him. Light was playing both sides of the field. He was now the new L and the “savior” known to the public as Kira. Since know one knew who Kira was, Light successfully put the entire team on a hamster wheel without them even realizing it. It would be a matter of time before the world would be shaped to Light’s desire…or was it?

It turned out that L and his partner, Wammy, ran an orphanage full of children that were being brought up for the sole purpose of succeeding L. Two children known only as Near and Mellow were believed to be equally capable of picking up where L left off, and they were to work together. However, Mellow would not have any of it. He abandoned the orphanage and decided to see if he could bring Kira to justice himself. At the same time, Near opted to run his operation very similarly to L’s methods.

So what’s the problem? To me, this seems like a natural way for Death Note to continue after L’s Death. In fact, I think it’s pretty damn exciting!

I think there are three main issues that fans had with the second arc. First, I think some fans were very bitter that L died. I’ll be first in line to say that I liked L, and I was very upset that to see him go, but I feel the reason why I was upset differs from most peoples. I was just upset to see a good character pass away. Meanwhile, fans liked L just a bit too much, and didn’t even give Near or Mellow a chance. Instinctively, I feel that fans got used to the way Death Note flowed, be it manga or anime, and the attitude of the second arc was too different for them. You would think the change of pace would a good thing, but I guess most fans wanted to see more of the same deal. I’ll admit that the story could have continued on for just as long reaching a different conclusion where L and Light were up to their old tricks, but I don’t think the story would have been as good. Either Light had to lose or L had to die at that point of the story.  Anything else would have come off as cheesy or cheap fanservice.

Near's reaction after being told he won the lottery. Art from onemanga.com

As touched on in my first point, I don’t think fans were willing to accept anyone else to face off against Light. I had no problem with Near and Mellow. In fact, I especially liked Near. I liked his mannerisms, I liked his attitude, and I liked his brutal honestly. He is also the character that brought up a very good point about Mellow and himself which I feel was lost on most fans. In a way, Near and Mellow were the embodiments of key components in L’s personality, only more extreme. Near represented the calm, calculating side of L while Mellow represented the extreme, uncompromising side of L. Heck, you even see similar mannerisms of L in both of them! Near sat funny and often looked like he wasn’t investigating while his mind was running a million miles an hour. Mellow even had a sweet tooth! I thought it was a very creative way to keep Death’s Note’s game of cat and mouse going without L. At the same time, it was like the spirit of L lived on.  Even Light himself considered the game to continue against L once he learned of Near and Mellow’s existence.

Lastly, there are far too many fans that felt Light should have won in the end. Are you kidding me? Light is absolutely evil! I don’t care how good looking or charming he is! Light lost his way long before the second arc of the story. Light had good intentions when he started his crusade. Killing off the most vile, rotten people in the world sounds good on paper, but no man on earth should be given the power to make that kind of choice. Power corrupts, and boy did it work over Light faster than the worst kind of corrosive acid.

As the series went on, Light looked more and more deranged. He was slowly turning into someone who would kill a person for stealing a magazine off a newsstand. Light even implied that he would eventually start killing people who he felt were a waste of space, even if they committed no crime! I was glad to see Light’s world crumble before his eyes and face total defeat and humiliation.

About here is when I noticed Light is pretty crazy. Art from onemanga.com

I understand that you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet, but the dude was making an omelet to feed an entire army by the time Death Note came to a close!  I thought Light was a very cool character, and it was interesting to see him weasel his way from one situation to the other in order to obtain his goals, but ultimately, I am glad that he was stopped.

I know that the reasons I discussed above aren’t the only reasons why some fans couldn’t get into the entirety of Death Note, but I decided to focus on what I felt were the most common complaints. I also blame the fan backlash on the anime. While I said I didn’t watch the whole thing, I discovered while reading up on Death Note that the entire second arc is very condensed and rushed compared to the manga. If that is the case, I strongly urge fans to read the manga if they haven’t already. Plus, from what I have seen of the anime version, much of the story has unnecessary changes, although most of them are small, and many scenes come off as melodramatic for the sake of being melodramatic.

If you like the arc better after reading the manga, or if I have convinced you to rethink your opinion, good for you!  If not, well, I guess it all a matter of opinion.