By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

I’m calling you out, Felicia Day.

Oh, don’t look at me like that. Don’t give me the innocent “Who, me?” look. Don’t try the adorably quirky smile, either. And don’t try to geek your way into my heart like you’ve done to so many others with your work on The Guild. You certainly can’t melt me with your singing, which we saw in Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-long Blog. None of that’s going to work this time. It’s time for you to face the music. I’m going to expose you…

What? No. This isn’t a creepy fanboy thing. Just relax, you’re going to be fine. But I am going to expose you for the usurper of justice that you are. I’m going to tell the world about the travesty that you committed in Chicago at C2E2 this weekend. And most importantly, I’m here to tell you how you ruined my life.

It all begins with me and my people skills.

I like to think I’m pretty good with keeping my cool around famous people. Through my jobs, this web site and various comic book conventions, I’ve been fortunate enough to talk to or interview a lot of people with different levels of celebrity. From Justin Timberlake to Ernie Hudson to Peter Mayhew (the guy in the Chewbacca costume) to Jared the Subway guy, I’ve mingled with my share of stars. I even got a quote from President Obama during his senator days.

Then there was the time I made Lance Bass laugh. It was an ‘N Sync meet and greet (Shut up. I was in middle school.), and I said I “did not know there were so many teenage girls in the state of Illinois.” Alright, so it wasn’t brilliant. And it was only later we learned he was gay. But he laughed, so I’m calling it a win!

In essence, I always do my best to keep my cool and not freeze up around famous people. Awkwardness and embarrassment torture me. It’s an anxiety thing I’ve got. So when I get the opportunity to meet somebody famous, I take pride in being able to talk to them like they’re regular people, and not stammer or get star struck. I’d like to think they appreciate that on some level.

But this weekend, my non-awkwardness/embarrassment streak was broken. At C2E2 in Chicago’s McCormick Place convention center, one man finally broke me. He gave me a bumbling fumbling star struck brain freeze, and left me stumbling across my mental landscape to pick up the pieces of my shattered dignity…

It was Burt Ward. Robin from the 1960s Batman show. That’s right, folks. The man who would become America’s first black president didn’t get to me, but the Boy Wonder did. If that doesn’t illustrate what a hopeless fanboy I am, I don’t know what to tell ya.

As most people know, from 1966 to 1968 Adam West and Burt Ward defined the Batman mythos for a generation (for better or worse, depending on who you ask), as they POW, WHAM, and ZAPPED their way through Gotham City’s rogues. In the process, they became American icons and staples of popular culture.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who can cite the Batman TV show as my “gateway drug” into comic books. Burt Ward helped me find something that I’m passionate about, and gives me a lot of joy. Not only that, but his unwavering exuberance in everything he did on that show accounted for much of what made it great. As great as West’s performances as Batman were, he couldn’t have sailed that ship alone. Ward deserves just as much credit for making that show what it was. So imagine my excitement when I heard Ward was attending C2E2, which is practically in my back yard!

I arrived at C2E2, anxiously awaiting the meeting of Boy Wonder and Fanboy Wonder. After combing much of the convention floor, spending way too much money on action figures, and getting autographs from the likes of Brian Wood, Ethan Van Sciver, Peter Tomasi and Patrick Gleason, the time had arrived. I’d given myself a few hours before approaching the entertainment guest tables, so my subconscious could whip up something charming and witty to say. We were going for another Lance Bass chuckle, ladies and gentlemen. Oh yes, we were.

This is where Felicia Day comes in…

When I reached the guest tables, I saw that Robin had found himself an adversary in none other than Felicia Day. With her two million Twitter followers and uncannily crushable geek goddess appeal, Day had a line that dwarfed our hero’s. That is to say, she had between 50 and 100 people, and Ward had about five. It was still fairly early in the day, but I’d say this was a fair indicator of where the fans were going.

I met Felicia Day at Wizard World Chicago a few years ago. She’s a nice girl. I liked her in Dr Horrible, and I got her autograph for my girlfriend. I’ve got nothing against her. But with that in mind I say…who the hell is Felicia Day??? After all he’s done for our geek subculture, and American culture in general, Burt Ward should be carried into comic book conventions on one of this big…uh, throne thingies. He shouldn’t have to sit there like a chump while fans furiously flock to the fiery follicled Felicia! This was blasphemy! Where was the justice?!? Someone tell me!

So in that moment, I became justice personified. I handed my back pack to my girlfriend, made sure I had my $50 for an autographed 8X10 (I know, it is pretty steep…), and marched my way up to Burt Ward’s table. He and his agent/publicist/handler guy were just finishing up with a fan. I got up there, greeted them both, and happily asked if I could have an autograph.

In response, agent/publicist/handler guy said: “Well gee, there’s a big line right there…”

And suddenly, it was all clear. I’d made a huge mistake. That huge line I’d seen wasn’t for Felicia Day! It was a line of anxious fans waiting to meet the Boy Wonder, and pay tribute to him for his contributions to geek culture! All was right with the world!

There are a great many questions I could have asked myself to avoid what happened next. I’m going to list the top three.

1. This agent/publicist/handler guy seems like a sociable dude. Is it possible he could be joking?
2. There are a lot of 8X10s sitting there at the table. Is it possible they haven’t had many visitors?
3. If the line is for Burt Ward, why are they all standing in front of Felicia Day’s table? (This one probably would have helped the most.)

But no, none of those light bulbs went on. Instead I apologized and walked halfway back the way I came. Then I noticed no one else was stepping forward to take my place. I immediately looked back, and saw Ward and agent/publicist/handler guy laughing and waving me back.

I’d gotten a chuckle, but it certainly wasn’t for my wit.

To his credit, Ward was pretty cool about the whole thing. Agent/publicist/handler guy gave me two signed 8X10s for just $10 more. I think he knew an embarrassed sucker when he saw one, and went for the easy sale. Ward seemed to pick up on it too, and kindly asked me if I had any questions for him. I blurted something out about how it felt for Bat-Mania to have lasted this long, to which he modestly said something about it being “crazy.”

At that point I went into recovery mode. We talked a little bit about how Adam West was supposed to have been there, but pulled out due to some herniated discs in his back (ouch). I was able to stick the ending a little bit, when I told him I was disappointed by West’s absence, but his presence still made the day worth it. Later, I was able to get a photo with him.

It all worked out in the end. But the fact remains, my witty celeb encounter streak is now broken. And it’s all Felicia Day’s fault. Her adorable, geeky, entrepreneurial presence at C2E2 completely threw my game off, and now Burt Ward thinks I’m a gullable sucker. So you live with that Felicia Day. Live with yourself knowing what you did to both the Boy Wonder and the Fanboy Wonder. Think about that the next time you’re on one of your fancy schmancy Hollywood sets.

Then again, Felicia Day’s line would eventually be eclipsed by the line for none other than Jason David Frank, who you might remember as Tommy from Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers. Heh. Maybe justice isn’t dead after all…

Front page image from wallpapers.co.uk. Image 1 from last.fm. Image 3 from fuckyeahdickgrayson.tumblr.com. Image 4 from tvsluts.blogspot.com. Image 5 from thebrotherhoodofevilgeeks.com. Images 2 and 6 from author’s collection.
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By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

I knew Glee was going to do a school shooting episode. I knew it back in season one, and it became more and more evident as the series progressed. Glee just loves to be that show. It’s already dealt with teen pregnancy, LGBTA issues, school bullying, suicide, eating disorders, and even texting while driving. Glee is essentially the after school special of prime time television. So it was only a matter of time before they got around to the issue of guns in schools.

In the middle of last week’s episode, our cast suddenly hears two gunshots. They barricade themselves in the choir room and go into panic mode. They start recording messages to their loved ones, and one boy even fights to get out into the hallways and find his girlfriend. In the end, no one is hurt. We find out that Becky, a recurring character with down’s syndrome played by Lauren Potter, brought the gun into the school to feel strong, as she was feeling anxious about graduating and leaving her comfort zone in the school. The gun accidentally goes off in the office of Jane Lynch’s character, Sue Sylvester. Sue takes the fall for Becky and is fired.

The episode is understandably controversial, coming a mere four months after the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, and less than a week after the stabbing at Lone Star College. Some are calling it powerful, moving television. Others have referred to it as exploitative trash.

I like Glee. I’m not exactly its target audience, but the kids on that show have a lot of talent, and it’s a guilty pleasure. Still, this whole thing seems a little too far for my taste. Had it been done on another show, it might have worked. We certainly can’t say school violence isn’t a relevant topic right now, can we? But Glee spends so much time pulling dramatic twists and messages out of the hat, that this very tragic, and at least somewhat true to life story seems like just the next one in line. Keep in mind that in the previous episode, Lea Michele’s character found out her boyfriend is a gigolo. And in this shooting episode a character also dealt with being “catfished” by his online girlfriend. Throw in Sue having to take the fall for it, and the whole thing seems more like a TV stunt than an attempt to start a dialogue about school violence.

Having the Becky character bring the weapon into the school undoubtedly ruffled some feathers as well. I don’t necessarily have a problem with it, though I can see how parents or friends of kids with down’s syndrome might. Granted, a student with down’s syndrome can just as easily get scared and make a bad decision as anyone else. But it doesn’t exactly paint a nice picture for younger viewers, does it? And how many other characters with down’s syndrome are there on network television?

Fox also should have attempted to be a bit more sensitive toward the Sandy Hook community in Newton, Connecticut. Though warnings did air before and during the episode, Newton residents reportedly only found out through a victims’ advocacy group.

Earlier this month, Glee co-creator Ryan Murphy called this episode “the most powerful emotional Glee ever.” Emotional? Sure, I’ll give ‘em that one. It’s a heck of an emotional subject. But powerful? Not really. I’m a Glee fan, but even I have to admit the show jumped the shark awhile ago. It’s been a victim of bad writing for awhile now, and has had to resort to stunts and plots with cheesy after school special messages in attempt to stay fresh. This school shooting story is simply the latest one. That’s sad, as it seems like they actually had good intentions. But it’s just too little, too late.

Front page image/image 1 from zimbio.com. Image 2 from gawker.com. Image 3 from hollywoodreporter.com.
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By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

Taylor Swift got a lot of publicity at the Grammys the other night for supposedly dissing her newest ex, Harry Styles. As everybody knows, Harry Styles is….*checks Wikipedia*…one of those One Direction guys, and obviously (double checks HollywoodLife.com) a British dude, as Swift so cleverly alluded to by abruptly switching to a British accent during her performance of “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.”

Now, she’s apparently dedicating an entire music video to the guy, as she’s made a point to dress like him for an upcoming music video. I admittedly haven’t heard the song. But it’s a safe bet that it’s about heartbreak, a woman scorned, etc. That’s always the safe bet, isn’t it?

To me, the frustrating thing about Taylor Swift is that the male species as a whole could put an end to her once and for all. We have that power. But we won’t, because we just can’t get our act together. If we could just send out a mass email to everyone in the male organization saying: “Listen everybody, just don’t date Taylor Swift. She’s given our company a LOT of bad press over the last several years, and frankly we’re worried it’s starting to add up. But the good news is we can solve the problem, so long as nobody dates her. C’mon guys, we can do this. We just need to have a little self control. I mean, it can’t be THAT hard…can it?”

But alas, we have no self control. Idiots like Harry Styles, John Mayer, Taylor Lautner, Jake Gyllenhaal, Connor Kennedy, and everybody else who’s been on the cover of US Weekly with her in the last half decade are going to keep ruining it for the rest of us. And why….?

Because Taylor Swift is cute. Not hot, per se. But cute. She’s the musical equivalent of a puppy that keeps peeing on the carpet. We’re mad at her, sure. But we can’t get that mad, because she’s too damn cute. She has amazing girl next door appeal, and tends to sport a vintage-inspired look that makes her almost irresistible somehow.

And so it is that men as a species will continue to feed the adorable beast, because we just can’t help ourselves. Even though anybody who dates John Mayer at this point is literally shooting themselves in the foot. I’m looking at you Katy Perry. He’s got you right where he wants you…

Front page image from fanpop.com. Image 1 from cambio.com. Image 2 from justjaredjr.com.
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By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

Okay, let’s do a few quick hits here…

1. Spidey Spoilers
Many a Marvel fanboy went into a Hulk-like rage when spoiler pages from this month’s The Amazing Spider-Man #700 hit the web this weekend. I won’t be the one to spoil it for you, but when we find out who’ll be wearing the Spidey suit in January’s Superior Spider-Man #1, it’s a shock to say the least.

Type “Amazing Spider-Man #700″ into the Twitter search field, and you’ll see fans calling it “utter, utter sh*t,” proclamations that “Spidey is dead to me,” and even one person predicting death threats against author Dan Slott.

Maybe I’m desensitized to this sort of thing given after some of the stuff we’ve seen in recent years (the New 52 reboot, One More Day) etc. But what I saw really didn’t bother me. Even if you adamantly disagree with the direction Slott is taking things, almost every major twist and change in the world of superhero comic books is temporary. If you don’t believe that, ask Jason Todd. Or better yet, Barbara Gordon. Actually, how about whoever printed up Clark Kent and Lois Lane’s marriage license? Or for that matter, Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson’s marriage license! At the end of the day, it’s just yet another chapter in the grand saga of Peter Parker/Spider-Man. This too will pass.

2. Tragic Irony
I have a massive collection of action figures based on comic books and geekery. My local library has actually put some of my stuff on display before. One of my prized collectibles is a Joker action figure based on The Killing Joke by Alan Moore and Brian Bolland. He’s dressed like the Joker is when Barbara Gordon opens the door and he shoots her in the stomach, paralyzing her. He’s got the Hawaiian shirt, the gun, and even a liquor glass. It’s pretty awesome, actually.

Ihe other day I came home to see that Mr. J. had fallen from the shelf I’d placed him on, and met an unfortunate landing on the carpet below. I was horrified to see that BOTH the figure’s legs had been broken in the fall, severed just below its knees.

The tragic irony of it didn’t hit me until a few days later: Killing Joke Joker loses his legs.

He’ll be fine, I’m sure. A little superglue should do the trick. Maybe that’s what Barbara Gordon should have tried. Superglue can fix anything.

3. Red is Wrong
The black and red costume Nightwing has sported since the New 52 reboot has yet to grow on me. I recently realized why.

In the old continuity, Dick Grayson relinquished his role as Robin when the dissension between he and Bruce Wayne became too much. They were forced to end their legendary partnership. When Dick struck out on his own, he knew it would be counterproductive to use the Robin persona, as it was too closely associated with Batman. He became Nightwing. In creating a new heroic identity for this iconic character, the folks at DC gave him a costume that mixed different shades of blue, a stark contrast to Robin’s red, green and yellow costume. Whether readers knew it or not, this color change made a strong statement about the Dick Grayson character. He had transcended his role as Robin, and was now his own man.

On the other hand, changing that “V” on his costume from blue to red makes it too evocative of his time as Robin. I understand that this is a different version of the character than we knew previously. But one of the elements that always made Nightwing cool to me was the idea that he rebelled against Batman and became his own person. He took control of his own destiny, much like we all have to at some point in our lives. To still have that suggestive string leading back to Robin spoils that to a large extent. It also makes him blend in too well with Red Hood and Red Robin, the other ex-Boy Wonders. These characters are all supposed to have “graduated” by now, and yet they all still look like stringers for Batman. Dark haired, young male stringers wearing red. I know that’s still essentially what they were before. But since the reboot it’s gotten considerably creepier, starting with that page from Batman #1 where we see them all together. Dick, more than the others, should be beyond all that.

But hey…at least it’s all temporary, right?

Front page image/image 1 from comicbookresources.com. Image 2 from milleniumcomicart.com. Image 3 from comicvine.com.
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By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

Yeah, it’s a stock holiday story idea. But just you watch. I’m gonna own this sucker. I promise I’ll try not to offend anybody this time.

People/Things I’m Thankful For This Year:

• Anne Hathaway’s portrayal of Catwoman. She was never actually called Catwoman in the movie, which was really weird in retrospect.  But hands down, she’s the best actress to ever play the role. She perfectly combined sleek and sexy with crafty and dangerous. It’s a shame we’ll only get to see her play the part once. Hathaway brings a touch of old school class to whatever she’s involved in. In that sense, as well as several others, she’s very special.

• People who share my distaste for Taylor Swift. When we do it, it’s a whiney and overly dramatic status on Facebook about our love lives. When Taylor Swift does it, it’s a hit song. Not long ago, someone on my Twitter feed said that her ex-boyfriends need to get together and write a song called: “Maybe You’re The Problem.”

• CM Punk and Paul Heyman. Punk has been the life blood of WWE television for almost a year and a half now. He’s unquestionably the company’s MVP. As for Heyman, I’m just happy to see him on TV again. He’s obviously having fun out there.

• The exposing of TLC’s Breaking Amish. This show hadn’t even been on for a week, and the internet was already ablaze with photos and info about the cast that contradicted the show’s premise. It was supposed to be about five Amish people who were leaving the lifestyle for the first time, travelling to New York City and being exposed to as much of the “English” life as possible. As it turned out, truth was stranger than fiction. Some of these people had left the Amish community before, others were married before, some had children. It’s even been suggested that Abe and Rebecca, who were married on the show, actually had a child together previously. That’s right Abe, I’m talking about it! But the question of what was real and what wasn’t only served to make the show more interesting. It’s one of the few reality TV shows I’ve sat through in several years.

• The Walking Dead, both on TV and on the page. If you’re not thankful for this one by now, you might be a zombie yourself. In addition to being one of the hottest things in comics and on television, The Walking Dead has brought more positive exposure to the comic book industry than anything that’s come down the pipe in a long time. It’s continuously compelling, with characters that have an awesome depth to them, and consistently awesome art by Charlie Adlard. The fact that it doesn’t have a bunch of men in capes and tights flying around also defies some of the stereotypes associated with the industry. At the end of the day, it’s just a damn good story.

• The Avengers. Fanboys the world over were almost universally delighted to see that the first superhero team flick was not only done well, but done almost perfectly. In terms of superhero action, adventure and intrigue, The Avengers was exactly what we wanted to see. The sad thing is that even if Warner Bros. and DC Entertainment’s proposed Justice League movie is the hit they want it to be, Marvel’s characters got to that mountaintop first. No matter what DC pulls out of the hat, they’re largely banking on the success of The Avengers.

• Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. I discovered this web series not long ago. Each episode, which usually run between 10 and 20 minutes, sees Jerry Seinfeld picking up one of his comedian buddies in a classic car and getting coffee somewhere. It’s an idea that screams Seinfeld, and some of the random conversations these guys have are great. The shows with Alec Baldwin and Michael Richards are particularly good.

• George Carlin’s body of work. I found When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? for 89 cents at Good Will a few days ago. It was the only time I actually wanted to give the cashier more than the listed price.

• The Power Rangers DVD box set. Because it’s about damn time.

• The Ninja Turtles being on Nickelodeon. Not only do the boys in green have a new show, but they’re culturally relevant again. Those action figures are getting harder and harder to find…

• Batman: Arkham City. This game was everything people said it was. Games like Arkham City are the reason I can’t play very many video games, because I get lost in them too easily. My entire life gets put on the backburner so I can get to the next cutscene. Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill were back to deliver fangasmic performances as Batman and The Joker. We got to see the Arkham universe debuts of new characters like the Robin, the Penguin and Deadshot. The action and graphics were as awesome as they’ve ever been. The open world style of the game gave us a chance explore Gotham City at our own pace. I could go on. I don’t envy the folks who have to try and top this baby…

• This picture of Honey Boo Boo.

• The readers of Primary Ignition. Whether you agree with what I say or not, it’s an honor to write for you.

…and more than I can mention here!

Front page image/image 5 from screencrush.com. Image 1 from hollywood.com. Image 2 from realitytvmagazine.sheknows.com. Image 4 from superherohype.com.
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By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

My feelings are hurt.

I’m not sure if I have any right to hurt feelings, or that I’m not just being a bitter fanboy here. But I can’t help the way I feel. It’s kind of like seeing your ex-girlfriend go from being a prim and proper girl next door to a common stripper, who’ll shack up with anyone so long as they’ll meet her price. And even though you’ve long since tried to distance yourself from her, you just can’t help it. Part of you still loves her. Part of you will always love her. She had such a profound impact on you when you were younger, and more naive. So you feel sad when you see others treat her as less than what you know she’s worth. But at the end of the day, it’s her life. They’re her choices. You’re simply an observer now…

Indeed, George Lucas has announced the selling of his professional life’s work to the Walt Disney Company for $4.5 billion (What did you think I was talking about?). The package includes LucasFilm, and the rights to the Star Wars saga. Disney has wasted no time announcing a new Star Wars trilogy, beginning with “Episode 7″ in 2015. The new trilogy will reportedly follow Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and Princess Leia’s adventures after Return of the Jedi.

When I caught wind of this, I was floored. For years, we’d been told that 2005′s Episode III: Revenge of the Sith was the last time we’d ever see a new Star Wars film in theaters. Those words had come from George Lucas himself. He’d said that after Jedi, the grand story of the Skywalker family was complete, and there really was no story left to tell. The epic saga was over. Obviously Star Wars would live on through television shows, video games, comic books, etc. But the modern day myth of fathers and sons, of good and evil, of a father’s fall from grace and redemption through his son, was over.

As it turns out, all that was just a sleazy marketing gimmick for Revenge of the Sith. There’s a LOT more milk to be had from this cash cow, and they’re just getting started! Bring on the action figures! Bring on the plastic lightsabers! Bring on the video games, t-shirts, school supplies, shoes, socks, underoos, and whatever else we can plaster Darth Vader’s mask on!

Yeah, I’m bitter. But you know what? I’m glad I’m bitter. I’m glad I can see the forest for the trees, instead of being just another mindless fanboy helplessly forking over their cash for whatever the Star Wars marketing juggernaut has sharted out lately. Did you see the latest one? A Star Wars/Angry Birds mash up. Somebody grab me a barf bag…

In a sense, it’s ironic. Star Wars, the universe that captured my imagination and inspired me as a child, has now taught me about the cold, harsh, cynical realities of American capitalism. Perhaps I should be thanking George Lucas for that. Then again, perhaps not.

Like a lot of people, I fell in love with Star Wars when I was kid. I first saw the movies when I was 10 or 11. This was some time between 1994 and 1995, just when buzz about the prequels was starting to heat up, and the new generation of merchandising had come out. My God, do you remember it? Do you remember when you first saw Star Wars? How amazing was it? How in love were you? That’s right, I said love. Some of us wanted to spend all our time in that galaxy far, far away. There were awe-inspiring worlds of all kinds, quirky robots and aliens, heinous villains clashing with daring, charismatic heroes. There was romance, drama, comedy, action, excitement, even political conflict! Star Wars had it all…

When something inspires you and fulfills you on that level at such a young age, and continues to inspire you as you become an adult, in a sense it becomes woven into the fabric of who you are. That’s what people mean when they say Star Wars is more than just a movie. There’ve been entire films (The People vs. George Lucas, Jedi Junkies) dedicated to what Star Wars means to people. Speaking for myself, the Star Wars movies allowed an isolated, lonely kid something to connect and talk with other people about. They opened up my imagination. They instilled certain values in me about good, evil and the triumph of the human spirit. They served as a bridge into knowledge about history, literature and mythology. And my God, they’re fun. They’re so much fun. I can’t even tell you how much time I spent drawing pictures of Darth Vader, or reading books about the continued adventures of Luke Skywalker (more on that later), or playing with Star Wars toys. I simply couldn’t get enough.

When you love something that much, you want it to be treated like high art. You don’t necessarily want to think of it in terms of being a business or something that’s designed to make money, even though that’s what it’s always been. That’s what a lot of art is, really. You can make the most beautiful image or movie or song, or whatever your craft is. But if nobody’s willing to put their money down for it, is what you made really worth anything to the world at large? After all, nobody sees the film if nobody buys a ticket. Even as a kid, I understood this.

But the problem a lot of people seem to have with Star Wars is that it’s too gratuitous in its quest for our cash. Walk into any drug store in America, and you’ll find something Star Wars related. And if you’re in a big chain store like Wal-Mart or Target? Forget it. Toys, books, magazines, clothes, video games, DVDs, toiletries, cereal boxes, anything and everything they can slap Darth Vader or Yoda’s face on. Marketing your movie or TV show is one thing, but it’s to the point where even some of the die hard fans are complaining about how oversaturated the market is.

Let’s also not forget the continued release and re-release of the films. For the original trilogy alone we’ve had the Special Editions, the DVD release, the individual DVD releases with the original theatrical versions included, and most recently the Blu-Rays. Each release had its own subsequent changes to the films to ensure the fanboys rushed out and bought the movies again and again. It’s the kind of dirty, greedy trick played by a puppetmaster who knows just how to manipulate the strings, or a pet owner who knows exactly how to make his dog sit. As a kid, you love this stuff and you want more and more, but when you’re an adult you start to see cracks of reason forming in your glorious vision of nerdy grandeur.

And good lord, let’s talk about the prequels. For years, I had a major case of prequel denial. I had convinced myself that these movies, while flawed, were not nearly as bad as everyone said they were. It got worse as time went on. I was getting older, and the films were getting worse and worse. Believe it or not, my favorite of the prequels is actually The Phantom Menace. Despite Jar Jar’s presence, and the soulless blue screen CGI environments that plagued all the prequels, it actually feels more like an extension of the original trilogy than the other two. I suspect it’s because Lucas wasn’t dealing with all the drastic fan backlash when he was writing it. We didn’t have a cardboard love story, piss poor dialogue, and actors struggling make chicken salad out of chickensh…er, you know. I credit Mr. Plinkett over at Red Letter Media for bursting my inflated denial bubble once and for all.

Over time, this stuff starts to add up. It becomes harder and harder to defend something you once loved so dearly when the evidence of its pollution is so clearly on display everywhere you go. My love for the original films remains, and will always be there. But the exploitation of Star Wars seems to be never ending. I haven’t bought a piece of Star Wars merchandise in years now, and I was positively revolted at the trailer for Star Wars: Detours. Throw in that Angry Birds/Star Wars game, and it’s enough to make you sick.

That leads us to the Disney deal. In light of everything I’ve just said, it’s hard for me to see this as anything but George Lucas realizing he’s taken about as much of the public’s money as he can, so he’s decided to take a bunch of Disney money and run. Mind you, I respect Lucas for his mind, if not his dialogue writing skills. He did an interview with Oprah awhile back where he talked about religion and spirituality, and I loved it. And it does deserve to be said that he wants to give a bunch of that money to educational charities. But consider this: George Lucas made a name for himself by bucking the Hollywood studio system and doing things his own way. Now, his entire professional legacy is in the hands of one of the biggest studios in the business. Something seems…wrong about that, doesn’t it?

This entire Disney deal seems like the wet dream of a bunch of executives looking forward to getting richer from another decade of toy sales. From a story standpoint, the story of Star Wars and the Skywalker family was complete. All the chapters in our epic, mythological space fantasy had been told. The hero’s journey was complete. What’s left to tell? Granted, any story can be good if it’s told right. But even Lucas himself had said that there was nothing to be told after Return of the Jedi, Expanded Universe books notwithstanding. But then the Disney news broke, and we learned that LucasFilm had been developing new films in recent years, and that turned out to be the setup for yet another sleazy marketing gimmick…

That’s not to say that Star Wars is in bad hands at Disney. They obviously know what they’re doing. But there is one thing I’d like to touch on. People keep talking about Disney’s track record with outside franchises, specifically citing The Avengers. Was The Avengers a great movie? Absolutely. But it was Marvel’s baby, not Disney’s. Marvel used five major motion pictures to build up The Avengers, and they did it flawlessly. Then, just before the big payoff, the folks at Disney realized they could still jump on the money train. Was Disney’s involvement meaningless? Of course not. But let’s overplay their role in it all.

In the movie Secondhand Lions, Robert DuVall’s character says: “Just because something isn’t true doesn’t mean you shouldn’t believe it.” He gives examples like hard work paying off, and good always triumphing over evil. When I was a little boy, I fell in love with a story about rebels fighting against a tyrannical Empire, good clashing with evil, a father’s fall to the dark side and later his redemption through his son. I truly believed that these were the things Star Wars was about, and at one point maybe they were. But they’re not anymore, are they? Now Star Wars is about licensing deals, food wrappers with C-3PO’s face on them, crappy cartoon shows, and just shoving as much fluff and garbage down our gullet as possible. And the saddest part of all is that people keep demanding more. Either they’re still young and in love like I was, they’re in denial about it all (also like I was), or they’re just too thick headed to know the difference.

There will always be something very pure and innocent about Star Wars, something that speaks to the child in us all. I’ll always love it for that. For yours truly, this Disney deal represents the final eclipse of that innocence with corruption and greed. And let’s be honest, it’s probably been gone for years now. I was simply too in love to see it…

Front page image from stuff.co.nz. Image 1 from cartoonbrew.com. Image 2 from tumblr.com. Image 3 from beliefnet.com. Image 4 from guardian.co.uk. Image 5 from nerdapproved.com. Image 6 from collect3d.com. Image 7 from pandodaily.com. Image 8 from tumblr.mylesbraithwaite.com. 

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

Until earlier today, I wasn’t sure if I was even going to discuss the Colorado shooting tragedy. The kind of thoughts that swim through your mind when something like this happens aren’t necessarily ideal material for a site like PI. But since Friday morning, some of the images that have been popping up in my social media news feeds have had a recurring theme. They’re all more or less in the same ballpark as this…

Yeah, I’ve got something to say.

So unless you’ve been living under a rock with cotton in your ears for the past few days, you know that at a midnight premiere of The Dark Knight Rises in Aurora, Colorado, a 24-year-old neuroscience student named James Holmes burst into a theater through an emergency exit and began shooting at moviegoers whose only crime was wanting to see the new Batman movie at a late hour. Twelve people were killed. Many more were injured, some critically. Thankfully, police caught Holmes and took him into custody.

The way Americans react to stuff like this is…odd. Television and the internet have desensitized us so much to seemingly random acts of heinous violence that so much of it goes in one ear and out the other. I say this because I’m as guilty of it as anyone. Our culture’s attention span is so damn short that we usually only remember the tragedies that are somehow connected to our own lives, however menial those connections might be. What I’ve always remembered about the Columbine High School shootings is how everybody talked about them at school. Suddenly gun jokes were REALLY not cool, and everybody was wondering, “Could it happen here?” I suppose at the end of there are only two things that really matter: 1. What did we learn from this tragedy? 2. How this event and the victims are remembered. It’s the second point that I’m taking issue with here.

This tragedy happened during the screening of a Batman movie, and supposedly Holmes shouted “I’m the Joker!” before he opened fire. This sparked the creation of various online memoriams, many of which featured Batman, the Batman symbol, a ribbon, etc. A portion of the fanboy community also seemed to get a defensive about the whole thing, more or less saying things like: “Holmes does not represent us! That’s not what we’re about!”

Frankly, I find all of this to be rather tasteless. Yes, this happened during a Batman movie. But for the love of God, THIS IS NOT ABOUT BATMAN OR THE DARK KNIGHT RISES. This is about a sick man who went some place where he knew a lot of people would be and killed or injured many of them for no good reason. What we should be doing is keeping those families that have now been torn apart by this senseless act of violence in our hearts and minds, and pondering the simple question of “Why?” Why does someone do this? What pushes someone to that point, and what can we do to stop it from happening again?

I understand that the people who are lumping Batman and The Dark Knight Rises in with this tragedy don’t necessarily mean any harm. But it’s still not right. Associating the image of an American icon like Batman with a tragedy like this risks having that icon overshadow the things we should be thinking about, and instead directing the attention to the fact that it happened at a Batman movie. Imagine how the families of those we lost might feel about that. Think of it this way: What if this had happened at say, a big fantasy/sci fi film like Lord of the Rings or Star Wars? If you’d just lost a loved one needlessly and violently, how would you feel about seeing an image of a Hobbit holding flowers, or C-3PO with a ribbon or something like that? It’s not necessarily disrespectful, but it’s tacky. It’s the wrong thing to do.

 As for fans being defensive, I don’t think that’s necessary at all. I’ve been to comic conventions, I’ve been to midnight screenings, I’ve been to autograph signings, and the most of people you see there aren’t violent, cruel or malicious. Some are a little socially awkward, I guess. But that’s the extent of it. I think most people understand this. And incase it needs to be said by one more person, it is still okay to love Batman and superheroes, it is still okay to see The Dark Knight Rises, it’s still okay to be passionate about all that stuff. As I said, this isn’t about Batman. It’s about James Holmes and whatever’s happening in his head.

I’m not the right guy to tell you why this happened, or what could have been done to prevent it, or even how to stop it from happening again. That’s not my area of expertise. But one thing I do  know is that bigger assholes than James Holmes have tried to make some kind of bold statement through senseless violence, and nine times out of 10, that’s just doesn’t work. As a society, we’re pretty ridiculous sometimes. But we don’t do the whole being pushed around thing very well. In the end, we always bounce back. And at the end of the day, despite this terribly savage tragedy, so will all the people connected to it.

You failed Jimmy.

Front page image from littleleaguecomic.tumblr.com. Image 2 from facebook.com/comicbookman. Image 3 from piedtype.wordpress.com. 

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

**SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN***

The critic consensus seems to be that The Amazing Spider-Man was somewhere between good to great. We’ve been hearing things like “fresh faces” and “reinvigorating the franchise,” with Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone getting heaps of praise for their portrayals of Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy. Of course, this is a far contrast to the heaps of resentment the film initially got from fanboys and professionals alike, who cried “too soon!” at the prospect of a Spider-Man reboot so soon after Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst captured the hearts of fans in Sam Raimi’s films.

I’m thinking it’s the Raimi factor that’s muddling up my decision making in terms of this movie. Amazing is connected to those films in more ways than I think anyone is really comfortable with. The movie owes its very existence to the poor critical performance of Spider-Man 3, which is only five years old. Those images of Maguire and Dunst are still pretty fresh in our minds, and were bound to cast a pretty long shadow over any kind of Spider-Man film. It certainly doesn’t help that Amazing covers a lot of the same ground that Spider-Man covered 10 years ago. We see the spider bite, Uncle Ben’s death, he does the wrestling thing and gets the costume, etc. Of the Raimi films, the original Spider-Man is the one bound to be compared most often with Amazing.

So let’s do that, shall we? I won’t deny that The Amazing Spider-Man put on a good show in its own right. But how does it fare when compared with what we saw the first time around? These are questions we as fans have a right to ask. So let’s start comparing…

Best Spider-Man: Tobey Maguire vs. Andrew Garfield
At first glance, Garfield seems to be a more natural pick for the role of Peter Parker than Maguire. He has more natural charisma, and executes the trademark Spider-Man humor much better than Tobey did. Remember the fight between Spidey and the Green Goblin in the fire, when Tobey says: “It’s you who’s out, Gobby! Out of your mind!” Coming from Tobey, that line never worked for me. Garfield, however, is able to make effective use of lines like: “Look out! I’m swingin’ here!”

Under the direction of Marc Webb, Garfield’s Peter Parker is more expressive of those antsy, nervous, and even angry feelings than Maguire’s was. He quickly bumbles and stutters over his words when he talks to Gwen Stacy. On the other hand, Tobey would be quiet, and maybe make a face. Early in Amazing, Peter tries to stand up to Flash Thompson as he’s picking on a classmate. The Peter we see in Spider-Man only stands up to Flash once he has his powers and is being attacked. By the way, why did Peter Parker get picked on in Amazing anyway? In Spider-Man, Tobey’s social awkwardness was obvious from the start. But Garfield’s character didn’t seem like such a standout. He was a kid with scruffy hair and a skateboard. What’s the big deal? By those standards, I see Peter Parker at least five times every time I go out in public.

Maybe it’s just the way high school was for me, in Spider-Man I identified with, and thus cared about Peter Parker almost instantly. He was a social outcast and a dreamer, destined to become a hero who makes choices no one should ever have to make. I knew this about a minute into the movie. They tried to make a similar connection for Garfield, showing us his parents and how they mysteriously dropped him at his aunt and uncle’s one day, and were later killed. This works, but not as strongly or quickly as what Raimi and Maguire did. The more you care about your protagonist, the more invested you are in the story. Maguire may not have been as funny as Garfield is, but he was much more sympathetic and relatable. That’s what makes a good main character.

ADVANTAGE: Spider-Man

Best Love Interest: Kirsten Dunst/Mary Jane Watson vs. Emma Stone/Gwen Stacy
The thing about both these love stories is that they both have flaws in the way they’re told.

Everybody remembers the upside down kiss from Spider-Man. Peter was rewarded for all his acts of heroism by finally getting to kiss his dream girl. She didn’t know who he was at the time, but it was still a huge moment for Peter. But what was he doing before he got that big kiss? Saving Mary Jane…again. In Spider-Man alone Peter has to save Mary Jane from death or catastrophe three times, four if you count the scene where she slips in the cafeteria. This girl was putting up Princess Peach numbers. Take into account her poor taste in men (Flash Thompson and Harry Osborn), and you’ve got more than just a damsel in distress. You’ve got a damsel in desperate distress. Of course, we still liked her. Obviously she was important to Peter, and Kirsten Dunst injected the character with a charm and likability that I’m not sure she gets enough credit for. But in Spider-Man, Mary Jane Watson fills the stereotypical dream girl/girl who needs saving role more than anything else.

That’s not necessarily the case with Gwen Stacy in Amazing. She did fit the role of the stereotypical love interest, though I didn’t really buy the progression of the love story in Amazing. She was obviously begrudgingly impressed with Peter sneaking into Oscorp, but she seemed to go from impressed to enamored pretty quickly. And who has a first date at the dinner table with their parents, anyway? All t his being said Gwen had a lot of spine, which I was happy to see. She wasn’t afraid to challenge Peter on certain things, she friggin’ attacked the Lizard, and she charged into Oscorp in the middle of a biological attack to develop the antidote to the bioweapon. The Gwen Stacy character wasn’t just a love interest. In the end, she was became a hero too. That puts her in an entirely different league than Mary Jane. And for what it’s worth, the chemistry between Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone is better than what Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst had. In Amazing, Peter and Gwen feel like  two people who could potentially be in a relationship, whereas Mary Jane was just a goal Peter wanted to reach.

ADVANTAGE: The Amazing Spider-Man

BEST VILLAIN: The Green Goblin/Willem Dafoe vs. The Lizard/Rhys Ifans
Yes, these are very different characters. But they share an important commonality, as did most of the Spider-Man movie villains: They’re not entirely evil. They might be mostly evil, but they all have something sympathetic about them that the audience can relate to. With Willem Dafoe’s Norman Osborn, it was the fact that deep down he really did love his son Harry. With Rhys Ifans’ Curt Conners, it’s his longing to fix himself and excel in his field. Both these characters had the unenviable task of helping to kick off their respective continuities strongly. But who did it better?

What I didn’t understand about Curt Conners in Amazing was the effect the Lizard transformation had on his psyche. He started out as a nice guy, right? He hung out with Peter, refused to have his formula tested on humans until he felt it was safe, etc. Then desperation got the better of him, and he injected himself with the formula. He became the Lizard, and then became evil for some reason, wanting to expose all of New York to the formula. He killed Captain Stacy for trying to stop him, and he was willing to break into a high school to kill Peter Parker for trying to stop him. But then when he was exposed to the antidote created by Gwen, he suddenly felt remorse for his actions. So…was it temporary insanity? Did the Lizard formula release some selfish, maniacal inhibitions?Or was it just one of those evil lizard formulas?

With Norman Osborn, you got the sense that he was a cold blooded jerk from the start, and the experiment he put himself through simply accentuated that. From a costume/design standpoint, Lizard definitely has the advantage. God knows we’ve heard enough griping about the Goblin suit over the years. The visual effects used to create the Lizard were great, and I liked the look they gave him. Osborn wasn’t always as grim and serious as Lizard, but you can’t fault him for that given the tone of the movie (more on that later). Willem Dafoe is more or less the Jack Nicholson of the Spider-Man movies. Like Nicholson in Batman, Dafoe’s performance is so much fun to watch. But he’s able to walk that line and not let himself go too over the top, so we can be afraid of the character when we need to be. Amazing did the Lizard justice, but Goblin managed to be both hellacious and hilarious with the same performance. That’s no easy task, and one that gets him the nod from me.

ADVANTAGE: Spider-Man

Best Uncle Ben: Cliff Robertson vs. Martin Sheen

This is probably the toughest decision of them all, because both Robertson and Sheen hit slam dunks with the Uncle Ben character. Robertson’s Ben Parker was older, and more reminiscent of what we saw in Steve Ditko’s original incarnation of the character. He also had a great Obi-Wan Kenobi, wise old sage quality about him. And he was able to actually say Spider-Man’s motto: “With great power comes great responsibility.” Sheen says that too in so many words, but he couldn’t use the actual statement, in all likelihood because filmmakers didn’t want the audience to connect Amazing to the other films even more.

But I’m actually going to go with Sheen on this one. His Ben Parker seemed like more of a father figure to Peter, whereas Robinson’s was more a kind old grandfather. In Amazing, Uncle Ben isn’t afraid to come down on Peter when he’s done wrong by someone, and actually enforce the responsibility ideal. It’s always better to show than to tell, and that’s what gives Sheen the edge for me.

ADVANTAGE: The Amazing Spider-Man

Let’s do some quick hits before we move on…

Aunt May: Rosemary Harris vs. Sally Field -  Sally Field. Like Robertson, Harris was more in line with what Steve Ditko originally drew. But Field works better in terms of being a maternal figure to Peter.

Flash Thompson: Joe Manganiello vs. Chris Zylka - Chris Zylka. For some reason, after Uncle Ben’s death Flash Thompson starts being nice to Peter, and by the end of the movie they’re friends for some unknown reason. But I still like Zylka better than Manganiello, who was more or less just a big brute. Now there’s a guy who couldn’t have starred in a Venom spin off…

Spider-Man Costume - In all honesty, I’m fine with both. But if I have to pick one, I’ll go with the one in Amazing. I like the way the webbing on the suit is more subtle. It makes the costume a little easier on the eyes.

Music - Danny Elfman’s work in Spider-Man. He’s one of the best.

Story: Tone and Promises
The Amazing Spider-Man is pretty straight faced movie. It has its comedic moments like most other superhero movies, but it takes itself pretty seriously at the end of the day. Spider-Man tended to have more fun with the subject matter. For instance, Spider-Man sticks closer to the source material in terms of the origin story. Shortly after Peter gets his powers, he uses them to defeat a pro wrestler in the ring and win money. This results in a fun and humorous scene with none other than “Macho Man” Randy Savage playing the bloodthirsty Bonesaw McGraw. That kind of thing couldn’t have happened in Amazing. In that film, Peter simply sees a lucha libre wrestling poster and decides to design a similar costume. Both approaches worked for the movies they were in. The same can be said for the Green Goblin’s often tongue in cheek demeanor compared to the Lizard’s ultra serious one.

Spider-Man took place in a melodramatic and exaggerated surreality, whereas Amazing was more moody and broody. In terms of tone, I think Spider-Man’s approach is more faithful to the character and the world he inhabits. Perfect example: Stan Lee has said that one of his all time favorite Spider-Man moments is when the character gets a check for doing something heroic, and he goes to the bank to cash it. But because he has no identification, and obviously can’t take off his mask, the bank teller can’t do it. Amazing could have pulled a moment like that off if it wanted to. But let’s be honest, which movie would an aw shucks, average joe, too goofy to actually happen moment like that have been better in? Which movie could have given us that exact moment, then made a seamless transition into something dramatic and death defying? The answer my friends, is Spider-Man.

I was also put off by where Peter and Gwen’s relationship was at the end of Amazing. Captain Stacy died, but made Peter promise to stay away from Gwen to keep her safe. Peter breaks it off with Gwen, and for a few frightening moments I think this movie is going to pull the same “I can’t be with you because I’m a superhero” trick Spider-Man did. But Gwen figures out what has happened, and unlike Spider-Man, the two live with full knowledge of Peter’s identity and why they can’t be together. Then at the end Peter says something along the lines of: “The best promises are the ones you can’t keep.”

Wait…what? The best promises are the ones you can’t keep? That’s a weird thing for a superhero to say. Especially one who’s made a promise to his dead uncle to always use his powers for the good of mankind. That kind of makes Spider-Man look like a douchebag, doesn’t it?

Also, if you’re going to break Peter and Gwen up only to hint that they’ll just get back together, why break them up in the first place? I understand Gwen’s father making Peter promise to stay away. But why not have Gwen insist that she’ll be okay, thus putting her in harm’s way for the next movie, when our old friend the Green Goblin is likely to pay a visit? Anybody remember how that went down in the comics?

My point is they could have played up the whole “Spider-Man can’t have the pleasure of a normal life because he’s Spider-Man” thing without doing this lovers from afar bit.

The Amazing Spider-Man is a good movie, and I will put my money down to see a sequel. But It didn’t recapture, or parallel the magic of the original Sam Raimi film. That would be a tall task for any film, any director, and any cast. But if it was such a tall task from the start, I still can’t help but wonder, and will probably always wonder, if it wouldn’t have been easier and more lucrative just to get the old band back together for one more chance.

WINNER: Spider-Man

Front page image from rottentomatoes.com. Image 1 from celebbuzz.com. Image 2 from rottentomatoes.com. Image 3 from flicksandbits.com. Image 4 from rroyreport.files.wordpress.com. Image 5 from altfg.com. Image 6 from bigshinyrobot.com. Image 7 from msn.com. Image 8 from thegreengoblinshideout.com. 

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

The big story in the world of comics this past week was the apparent revelation that Batman has a younger brother, Thomas Wayne Jr. The character was introduced to us last year as Lincoln March, a mayoral candidate who found a kindred spirit in Bruce Wayne. But in Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo’s Batman #10, we learn he’s actually a member of the Court of Owls who betrayed the group when he figured out Bruce Wayne and Batman were the same person. As the issue closes, the two alleged brothers are on a collision course.

The Thomas Wayne Jr. character actually isn’t new. The character, and much of the backstory that is explained in Batman #10 is actually derived from a 1974 story by Bob Haney and Dick Dillin in World’s Finest #223, where Batman and Superman discover that three years before Bruce was born, Thomas and Martha Wayne had another son whose mind was permanently damaged after his stroller was apparently hit by a car. The boy was committed to Willowwood hospital, which is also the name of the asylum from the Snyder/Capullo story. When the Waynes were murdered, the boy was apparently forgotten about. The Haney/Dillin story ends with Thomas Wayne Jr.’s death and a return to the status quo. Years later, Grant Morrison would revive the character in Justice League: Earth 2 as Owlman, an alternate universe Batman equivalent in the Crime Syndicate of America. Morrison’s character survived a mugging that took the lives of Martha Wayne and his brother Bruce. Owlman subsequently appeared in numerous stories at DC.

Get all that?

The idea of heroes having evil siblings certainly isn’t new. In comics alone, we’ve got pairings like Thor and Loki, Charles Xavier and Juggernaut, etc. This story with Batman having a brother is interesting, and I’m sure Snyder and Capullo will take us into compelling territory with it. But when I saw that big revelation, I couldn’t help but think back to those few months in 2002 and 2003 when Batman had yet another brother, or rather a stepbrother. Fittingly enough, it was the man he’ll be facing on the big screen in The Dark Knight Rises next month, Bane.

The story was called “Tabula Rasa,” and took place in the pages of Batman: Gotham Knights #33-36. While searching for the identity of his biological father, Bane brings Batman a photo of Thomas Wayne and his mother together in his homeland of Santa Prisca. This obviously raises the question of whether Thomas Wayne could be Bane’s father, and whether he could have been unfaithful to Bruce’s mother. Author Scott Beatty and pencillers Mike Collins and Roger Robinson fluff the story out with a villain who has nanites in her tattoos and can turn them into physical objects at will. But the Bane story is what kept us coming back.

It takes us almost three issues after the big revelation to get the results of a blood test to determine whether the Bruce and Bane are related. In that time frame we get a lot of talky scenes not only between Batman and Bane, but various other members of Batman’s extended family. We even get a dialogue between Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon about whether or not Batman is responsible for all the chaos in Gotham. There are two scenes from this story that have always stuck out in my mind. In Gotham Knights #44, we see Bruce sit down with Alfred and actually ask the question: “Could he have been unfaithful to her?” Considering we’re talking about Bruce’s father, the man upon whom he’s based much of his moral code over the years, that’s a pretty powerful question. They also place it in a nice intimate and personal setting so this surrogate father/son duo can have this moment together, which was a really nice touch. Alfred flat out denies that Thomas Wayne could ever have been unfaithful to his wife, though it’s hinted that there might be a shred of doubt in his mind.

The second scene is between Bane and Leslie Thompkins in issue #46, when the blood test finally reveals that Bane is not Thomas Wayne’s son. It’s shorter, but it provides us with a very rare opportunity to see Bane vulnerable. They’re sitting outside on a bench somewhere, and he says things like “I don’t know what to feel,” and “Life is…unfair.” It was a nice character moment for him, given the direction they were taking his character at that point.

In retrospect, it’s fairly obvious that Bane was never going to be Batman’s actual brother. For one thing, the issues are too filled with fluff to constitute a revelation of that magnitude. Also, that kind of announcement wouldn’t have taken place in the token third-string book. It likely would have been in Batman or Detective Comics. I suppose there’s also an inherent cheesiness to the idea of a Batman villain one day coming out and saying: “Hey! Guess what! We’re brothers!” Having Bane do it isn’t necessarily as bad as having it be say, the Riddler. But today it seems rather obvious that they weren’t going to pull the trigger on it. Still, being as naive as I was to the world of comics at the time, I remember being really hooked by it.

I’m pretty skeptical about this Thomas Wayne Jr. thing. But given the circumstances, i.e. it taking place in Batman, the character not being a stock villain, the fact that it’s happening in a major storyline, that character has better odds than Bane did. Who knows? Maybe someday he’ll get a movie deal too…

Front page image from screencrush.com. Image 1 from panelsoftheweek.tumblr.com. Image 2 from comicsalliance.com. Image s 4 and 5 from author’s collection.

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

I’ve been thinking about this for awhile, and I’m finally ready to say something.

Like a lot of people, I’ve really been enjoying Avengers vs. X-Men. It’s a great event comic. But something happened toward the end of AvX #3 that put a major damper on things for me. The story was flowing just fine up to this point, and then it threw a big monkey wrench into things.

Written by Ed Brubaker and pencilled by John Romita Jr., the scene in question sees Captain America trying to bench Wolverine because he wants to kill Hope Summers. You see, the Phoenix entity is coming to Earth, apparently to possess Hope as it once did Jean Grey. Having seen what the Phoenix did to Jean, Wolvie thinks the only way the world can survive is if Hope dies. Cap won’t have it though, and we get the following exchange…

Cap: “I won’t let you just kill that girl!”
Wolvie: “Then we ALL die!”
Cap: “Damn it…I didn’t want it to come to this…but you’re not listening!”

Then, without provocation, without threat, not even aggressive body language, Captain America decks Wolverine.

I got into a mini-fight in elementary school once. Some kid did something mundane I didn’t like, so I elbowed him in the back really hard. We both got sent to the principal’s office, and when he heard what I had done, all he could do was look at me and say: “So you hit him??” That more or less sums up my train of thought in terms of the way this scene was written. These two characters had no animosity with each other at this point in the story. The only time we’d even seen them interact was a scene where Cap asked Wolverine if he could trust him in a fight against the X-Men. Obviously they’ve got major philosophical differences going on in this conversation. And yet, Cap sees fit to haul off and hit Wolverine in the face. Really? Captain America, leader of the world’s mightiest friggin’ heroes, pulls Wolverine, a notorious and murderous hothead, aside and tells him he’s off a mission. Wolvie argues with him, which Cap had to know was going to happen. And yet, his best plan is to punch this mutant rage machine? He didn’t have any plan to contain him? No trap door, no restraints, nothing? Smooth, Cap. Real smooth.

To me, this sequence cheapened AvX. It reinforced the position of fans who see it simply as an excuse to have superheroes fight, as opposed to a story with depth and consequence. Am I still enjoying the book? Sure. But it’s got a blemish on it that may be very, very hard to erase.

Front page image from comicbookviolence.com. Image 1 from majorspoilers.com. Image 2 from whatculture.com.