By Jon Robertson
Staff Writer, Illegitimate Son of Irwin M. Fletcher

Every year it seems that there are a handful of albums that get released that everyone goes bananas for, but if you really stop and listen to the music you realize that the album is not as good as everyone thinks, or in some cases might actually be absolute garbage. Here is the five step process as to why I think this happens.

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1. Hype: In some cases there is way too much attention given from websites and magazines on how the artist or group has grown since their last release. These publications keep hooting and hollering about all the hoopla on all the new fantastic things they are doing. The buildup for the record keeps growing and growing until everyone gets so excited that the new record is already ordained as the “second coming” before anyone has even heard it.

2. Posing: After websites and publications hype the shit of these recordings and the album sucks, they are trapped. Very rarely will you see any kind of music publication retract all the excitement they had for an album and confess that the album is not as good as they have been predicting it to be.

3. Buying in: People that follow these publications and generally trust their judgment hear said recording, and even though they may not like the album, they convince themselves that they do because their favorite music critic says it’s awesome.

4. Fear: This is where I usually get caught up in it. Now that the music sources and people in the know are preaching about how amazing this record is, I feel like I am missing out, so I give it a listen and it’s horrible. But instead of just accepting it at that I begin to question my judgment. “How could I think this sucks if everyone else thinks it’s great? What am I Missing? Am I lame? Close minded?” So now I have the fear of being left out so I fall into #3 and buy in.

5. Acceptance: After the music critics bought into the hype, refusing to admit their mistake and all the hip people say its dope and the rest of us are too afraid of being left out or uncool, the crap album is accepted as amazing, never to be questioned again.

Finally after all these years, I have overcome my fear of being bogus and I am now ready to call out the all the bogus records of 2011 that have benefited from the five-step process above.

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10. PJ Harvey: Let England Shake (Vagrant Records) — I have a lot of respect for Ms. Harvey so it pains me to put her on this list, but this record is probably her weakest musically. I understand that the lyrics are all political; I just need a lot more than fancy lyrics to enjoy a record. What is the good of powerful lyrics if they are not backed by powerful tracks? I guess when I want my revolution I want it to sound more like Rage Against the Machine than Bob Dylan.

9. Wild Flag: Wild Flag (Merge Records) — A super group of a bunch of ladies from bands that were never very good in the first place. With their powers combined they created… blandness. Obnoxious vocals, guitar licks and presentation all around. This is to be expected though, since the only good band that existed from these ladies previously was Mary Timony’s ’90s act Helium.

8. Adele: 21 (Columbia) — To me, this is the equivalent of listening to your mom belt out a bunch of bland pop R&B tunes in her minivan. Seriously, just her vibe in general is annoying. Listening to her music is like listening to a bunch of throwaway tracks from Motown’s garbage bin.

7. Liturgy: Aesthethica (Thrill Jockey) — Hipster metal has arrived and it is weak. Thanks a lot, Liturgy. This is what Snapcase would sound like if they didn’t try. I do admit that there are some insane rhythmic tracks on here, and the drummer does some pretty amazing stuff. However, Aesthetica makes the list because of the all the attention it’s getting. If you go on online and look at certain websites’ 2010 year end lists there was almost no mention of metal at all. It’s funny to see these same websites this year put out best of metal lists for 2011 now just because there is a doofy metal band from Brooklyn.

6. Yuck: Yuck (Fat Possum) — Everyone keeps saying how awesome this ’90s revival indie rock band is. I challenge you to listen to any of Yuck’s tracks back to back with any of the bands they are compared to, like Dinosaur Jr. You will notice how junior high this band sounds. I think this record just goes to show how desperate people are to hear something of quality but, instead of searching a little harder for band with a ’90s flair and some actual passion, they just settle for this young English band because the bass player has an afro.

5. Bon Iver: Bon Iver (Jagjaguwar) — Now this record isn’t horrible. It’s actually pretty good, but not as freakin’ amazing as everyone says it is. If you take a concentrated listen to the ten songs included on this record, there is absolutely nothing groundbreaking going on musically, lyrically or emotion-wise. This is an album to put you to sleep, not to be considered as one of the best releases of the year. I think the main reason this record was included on publication’s lists and given so much attention is the fact that Justin Vernon guested on a couple songs on last year’s most overrated album — possibly the most overrated album of all time — Kanye West’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.

4. Fleet Foxes: Helplessness Blues (Sub Pop) — Another electric folk album that had way too much anticipation associated with it before its release. I know, because I was caught up in the anticipation at first and I actually thought I liked this record for a second. Then I realized this band has a knack of taking the most generic aspects of certain bands (My Morning Jacket/Band of Horses) and making them the highlight of their music. There is not one song on this album that can stand up to MMJ’s release this year. If you’re not paying attention, you won’t even notice that one song has ended and a new one has begun. Do yourself a favor ignore this record and listen to Vetiver’s The Errant Charm instead; it’s so much better.

3. Fucked Up: David Comes to Life (Matador Records) — Just because you put a concept behind vanilla punk screams and guitar progressions doesn’t mean that the music is any good. Every song sounds exactly the same. A lot of reviews hearken back to the Ramones when mentioning this band. If you compare the Ramones’ music to Fucked Up, you will realize that the Ramones actually had the ability to make their songs individual enough so that you could discern one song from the next. I dig concept albums a lot, but this one is essentially just one song repeated over and over.

2. Jay-Z & Kanye West: Watch the Throne (Def Jam) — One boring ass record that consists of two super rich dudes’ bland verses about how pimp and awesome they are. You’d think the two biggest rappers out now would have come up with some better beats then the ones used here. It’s interesting to watch musicians become famous and larger than life, because as time goes on the band or artist slowly become parodies of themselves. Watch the Throne is a prime example of that.

1. Foo Fighters: Wasting Light (RCA) — This band used to be cool. I’m pretty sure the last good album they put out was There is Nothing Left to Lose. I used to love Dave Grohl with all my heart. I still think that he is an amazing drummer and his interviews are still pretty hilarious. He seems like a cool dude all around, but as he’s gotten older I think he has become a bit obsessed with himself (just like Kanye and Jay-Z). He keeps saying stuff about “this is how a rock band does it”. A real rock band doesn’t point out that they are in a rock band. The new album has no taters, and screw all the talk about how raw and tough it is… it’s lame. Listen to the new Russian Circles or O’Brother albums for something raw and energetic. It hurts me to hate on the Foo Fighters; I’m just starting to wonder what the difference is between the Foos and Nickelback. Please don’t be mad at me Dave.

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This list basically goes against the majority of top 2011 lists on the internet out right now, so try not to hate and overreact. Instead, take another listen to the music listed above and ask yourself, “Do I really like this?”. I think that you’ll realize that you actually don’t and to help fill the empty spot these albums left in your soul, I recommend checking out some if not all the albums listed on my Top 22 of 2011. Good luck.