By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

I’m not digging all these pay per views being pumped out so quickly. I did my first set of predictions just over a month ago, and now I’m on my third. How WWE expects fans in this economy to pay for so many pay per views is beyond me. It’s no wonder buy rates are down so much. It just goes to show you that pay per views don’t mean anything anymore. They’re like heavyweight championships in that respect…

Obviously I’m cranky about wrestling right now. One of the reasons is a man named John Laurinaitis. WWE’s executive vice president of talent relations showed up on television shortly after CM Punk called him out in his now famous worked shoot promo a few months ago. Now, the former wrestler is being used more heavily in storylines as the interim general manager of Raw. This means he has to get on the mic and talk every week and play the role of match maker. Giving Laurinaitis a key role like that is a mistake on a several levels, chief among them are that he can’t act, and he’s got a raspy voice that’s difficult to understand. He hurts every segment or skit he’s in because he can’t hang with Triple H, John Cena or any of the wrestlers. So why give him such an important part on the show if he can’t put on a worthwhile performance? Is this simply the next chapter in the conspiracy storyline WWE is doing, or is it just bad planning? In any event, the “interim” title leaves hope that Lauranaitis will be off our televisions soon. For me, that moment can’t come soon enough. We’ve already had a bad actor with very few mic skills in the WWE spotlight. His name was Batista.

WWE DIVAS TITLE MATCH:
Beth Phoenix (c) vs. Eve Torres

Eve Torres was the next logical opponent for Beth Phoenix after her program with Kelly Kelly ended. Torres is Kelly’s on-screen ally, and fits into that Barbie doll mold that Beth’s character hates. But the good thing about Torres is that she’s more athletically inclined than Kelly, and has a tendency to surprise you with how good she can be. That’s not to say I expect her to win, but this match will likely be a better sight than Beth’s matches with Kelly. Torres could potentially with the title next month, or perhaps in December. That would segue perfectly into Eve defending the title against Kelly at Royal Rumble, or even Wrestlemania. But I imagine Beth will hang on to it for a little while longer.

Rob’s Prediction: Beth Phoenix
Winner: Beth Phoenix

WWE TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH:
Air Boom (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger 

I don’t see Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne losing the titles. Ziggler and Swagger make a good team, but Air Boom has the potential to be something WWE hasn’t had in years: A tag team that has as much marketability as they have in-ring skills. They obviously don’t need to have the titles all the time in order to be successful, but why take them away now? They’re still ascending. They’ve already proven they can make the tag team titles mean something again. Let’s let them keep doing that.

Rob’s Prediction: Air Boom
WINNERS: Air Boom

WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH:
Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. Zack Ryder

I’m loving the fact that Zack Ryder has a title match on pay per view. It’s great to see him finally getting a measure of respect. I also dig the fact that Dolph Ziggler is performing in two title matches in the same night. It’s a nice little feature in his bleached cap. I’d LOVE to see Ryder take this match, but I don’t see it happening. As popular as Ryder is, WWE has been building toward a program between Ziggler and Mason Ryan, a near 300 pound musclehead from Wales who’s a dead ringer for Batista (Britista?). That sucks, because while Ryder’s not that big and he’s not always the best pure worker, he’s got a lot of personality and the fans are clearly into him. I’m going with Ziggler on this one, but I’m hoping I’m wrong.

Rob’s Prediction: Dolph Ziggler
Winner: Dolph Ziggler

Christian vs. Sheamus
This match was filler last month and it’s still filler this month. I understand why it’s on the card, as WWE has put a lot of stock in Sheamus as a babyface, and it certainly behooves him to go against someone the caliber of Christian. But there’s a certain obligated feel about this whole program that I don’t like (more on that later). I’m going to go with Sheamus again this month, simply because it wouldn’t hurt to give him some more momentum.

Rob’s Prediction: Sheamus
Winner: Sheamus

Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes
Despite that really awkward fake laugh Rhodes did two weeks ago on Raw, I’m a big fan of this program. It gives Orton a much-needed break from the World Heavyweight Title picture, and allows Rhodes to share the spotlight with one of WWE’s golden boys. Orton is obviously a great wrestler, and Rhodes is very technically sound himself, so this match could be the dark horse to steal the show. I’m giving Orton the nod here, as he’s spent the last two months putting Mark Henry over. That’s not to say he wouldn’t survive putting Rhodes over, or wouldn’t be willing. But I don’t like the idea of Orton putting Rhodes over so quickly after getting his butt kicked by Mark Henry. Could Rhodes win their next pay perview match? Absolutely. But this one should go to Orton.

Rob’s Prediction: Randy Orton
Winner: Randy Orton

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH:
Mark Henry (c) vs. The Big Show

If you’d told me a year ago that not only would Mark Henry be World Champion, but that he’d be doing such a fine job with the title, I’d have laughed in your face. But here we are. Henry’s never going to be the best worker in the world, or the best talker for that matter. But what he’s doing right now is working. He’s damn sure a better champion than Alberto Del Rio. This match with The Big Show isn’t going to be pretty, as they’re both pretty slow workers. That’s not their fault, it’s just the way their built. But this is one of those matches we’re just going to have to…get through. With the role Henry’s been on lately, there’s no point in taking the belt off of him. Granted with the way WWE creative has been handling things lately, The Big Show could get the belt for no apparent reason. But I don’t see that happening.

Rob’s Prediction: Mark Henry
Winner: No Contest due to collapsed ring

LAST MAN STANDING MATCH FOR WWE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE:
Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. John Cena

I’m completely over these two working together. Can we please make this their last match? That’s not to say they’re not solid in the ring together, but the whole thing seems obligatory and stale at this point. The fact that they weaved Jim Ross and Michael Cole into the story doesn’t do much to offset that mindset. These two have simply gone as far as they can go together and it’s time to move on. I’m now going under the assumption that Cena’s match with The Rock at Wrestlemania will not be for the title, so let’s just keep it on Del Rio and get on with our lives.

Rob’s Prediction: Alberto Del Rio
Winner: Alberto Del Rio

Triple H & CM Punk vs. The Miz & R-Truth
In spite of a few things, this is the match that sells the show from my perspective. Has WWE meaningfully capitalized on the idea of Triple H and CM Punk, who hated each other a few weeks ago, being forced to team up? No.  Did the story of the entire WWE roster walking out because a few guys (Miz and R-Truth mainly) attacked some wrestlers make any sense? No. Is i right that CM Punk, who has become one of the most over guys in the company, is basically taking a backseat to Triple H in this story? No. But the fact is all four of these guys have been hot lately, in contrast to Cena and Del Rio, who haven’t been. Miz & R-Truth have kept themselves fresh, the authority figure angle is an interesting role for Triple H to take on television, and CM Punk is…well, he’s CM Punk. I’m going with Triple H and Punk here. Hopefully we’ll see a bit of friction between them during the match, so they’re awesome program from just over a month ago will at least be referenced.

Rob’s Prediction: Triple H & CM Punk
Winners: The Miz & R-Truth

What’s Missing
There’s not a lot to complain about here. In spite of some stale storytelling, most of the wrestlers who should be here are. The one man who isn’t here that probably should be is John Morrison. But rumor has it he may be on his way out after WWE fired his slightly psychotic girlfriend Melina Perez.

The good news coming out of this show is not only do we have a few weeks to build to Survivor Series, but The Rock will be in the picture (albeit in a limited fashion until he actually gets in the ring at wrestles at the pay per view). Hopefully Rocky will be able to freshen things up on Raw in contrast to a product that has grown substantially stale in recent weeks.

Front page image from fanpop.com. Laurinaitis image from bleacherreport.com. Wrestler images from WWE.com.