***”Music, Books and Psycho Space Robots” is a regular column published on Primary Ignition by Kevin Kenealy, staff writer and Nightmare Fuel Provider. The views expressed here are his, and do not reflect the views of the staff of Primary Ignition.***

Photo from hogwild.com.

I was never a huge fan of the show American Idol, but the only thing that ever kept me somewhat interested was watching Simon Cowell.

Now that he’s gone, I figured I would give Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez a chance to see whether they rank up to my appreciation of Simon’s cut and dry judging approach. See, for those who don’t know what I’m talking about, Simon would tell it like it was. If Simon didn’t think you had what it took, he wore it on his face or immediately vocalized it.

In a YouTube clip, Simon told one contestant “I think you just killed my favorite song of all time” and “You will never, ever, ever have a career in singing.” These weren’t unusual moments for Simon; but he would also give credit where credit was due. “Vocally, you are just head and shoulders above everyone else in your side of the competition right now,” Simon said in referring to Lee DeWyze last season when he made the Top 20. DeWyze went on to win last year’s Idol.

Tyler and especially Lopez do not have that confidence to tell contestants that they’re not what it takes, just yet anyway. Granted we are just in week one, but watching the three, Randy will have to be the rock this season that has the grounded voice of who is really talented and who is not.

If Lopez had her way, she would have sent everyone to Hollywood. One contestant from New Jersey was sent to Hollywood after being told no by the judges but then Lopez cracked when she started to cry and said yes. The other judges folded and well, she’s in Hollywood.

Her singing was okay, but do I think it was enough to warrant a trip to Hollywood? No, I don’t and they made the right decision in the first place. These are times when American Idol misses a rude tell-it-like-it-is judge like Simon who will show the contestant the door just by looking at her.

Photo from unrealityshout.com.

Is it some rule that every year American Idol hires on a judge that is overly soft? First it was Paula, who couldn’t say something negative to save her life; then it was Ellen who quit the show because she didn’t want to be mean. Now it’s J-Lo.

In the first episode after Lopez had to send someone home she said, “I want to go home.” Don’t the judges interview these people before they come on or is it that they purposely bring on soft-hearted people to add to the drama in the judging circle? Hmm, I think the later. Let’s pair Paula and Ellen with Simon and J-Lowith the lead singer of Aerosmith. It’s like putting together a cast for any other reality show – Survivor, Real World, etc.

Except Steven Tyler is not the rude judge that Simon was. He is kind of like Charlie from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. He’s a wild card. During the first episode, it wouldn’t be unusual for Tyler to let out Aerosmith-esq screams at random and mildly hit on some of his female fans. While this was somewhat entertaining, Tyler’s performance was more decisive than Lopez’s in that he could tell contestants what he thought was good and what wasn’t, but his personality is much nicer than Simon’s.

For example, a teenager came in to sing Frank Sinatra’s “My Way” and you could tell the judges weren’t going to allow this kid to go to Hollywood and stopped him before he got to the chorus. When the kid asked if he could sing the chorus, Tyler said he could.

So I think if there is a saving grace to this season it will be where will Tyler’s wild card personality go and how will he grow as a judge, but from what I saw so far, the judges are too weak and too indecisive to make American Idol worth watching for much longer.

Front page image from mamapop.com.