***Music, Books and Psycho Space Robots is a regular column published on Primary Ignition by Kevin Kenealy, staff writer and Nightmare Fuel Provider. The views expressed therein are his, and do not reflect those of the staff of Primary Ignition.***

Photo from facebook.com/ladygaga

Earlier this year, I submitted a draft to Primary Ignition on how Lady Gaga is not this generation’s Madonna. It was turned down by the editors for revision, and rightfully so. It was about as cohesive as Yoko Ono and John Lennon on the Double Fantasy album.

I wrote that draft in response to hearing “Bad Romance” in a bar one night and realized that Gaga’s lyrics were similar to Jack Nicholson’s writing in The Shining, where he writes “All work and no play make Jack a dull boy” over and over again.

Yet instead of specifically criticizing Gaga’s lyrics, I tried to awkwardly compare Gaga to Madonna by saying Madonna is much better than Gaga. In other words, I tried to pack too much into one blog. Comparing two idols like that is going to be a one-sided affair. There is a fat chance that I will convince a Lady Gaga fanatic that her idol is not the best thing since the moon landing and vice versa. It would be easier to convince said fan that Gaga’s lyrics aren’t that great instead.

In doing so, I’ll look at three of her arguably most recognizable songs: “Bad Romance,” “Poker Face” and “Alejandro.” One of the biggest problems I have with Gaga in all three of these songs is what I call the Phil Collins effect. Phil Collins has the annoying habit of repeating phrases over and over again in many of his songs: “You’ll be in My Heart,” “I Don’t Care Anymore,” “Another Day in Paradise.” They literally all repeat the same phrases as the titles. Look them up, you’ll see what I mean. I am not comparing her to Collins specifically, just to his repetitious style.

Even though Gaga is not to the extreme that Collins is, it’s pretty close. In “Bad Romance,” the chorus plays in 16 of the 29 stanzas in the song, with the chorus being “Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!/Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!/Caught in a bad romance/Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!/Roma-Roma-ma-ah!/Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!/Want your bad romance. This doesn’t count the five other stanzas Gaga is saying “I want your love/love-love-love/I want your love.” This isn’t to say there isn’t potential for good lyrics in this song. The idea that Gaga is singing this passionate, anti-Valentine’s Day sort of thing is very poetic. There is depth in lines such as “I want your ugly/I want your disease,” but there isn’t enough of these lines.

The same goes for a song such as “Poker Face.” Is “Poker Face” supposed to be like a person with a poker face – we’re not supposed to figure out what they’re all about? Where “Bad Romance” is bad with repeating chorus lines, this song is worse. In 11 out of the 17 stanzas is the main chorus—the chorus that’s “Can’t read my poker face” and the “p-p-poker face” stanzas. That’s 65 percent of the song right there. This doesn’t include two more stanzas that repeat. So thirteen stanzas in the song out of 17 repeat themselves. That’s 76 percent of the song, leaving not much room left for original ideas to give added weight to the chorus.

In “Alejandro,” it’s the worst of all three. There are a total of four original stanzas out of 19. Also, is Alejandro the guy’s real name or is it Roberto or is it Fernando? Listen to the song again. Gaga rhymes Alejandro with Fernando—the only point in that is that people won’t notice and it initially sounds good rolled off the tongue. Does that make them good lyrics though?

Photo from freewebs.com.

Yes, I realize a number of pop songs have had crappy lyrics for some time. There are those out there who I believe have worse lyrics. The band America for instance in “Horse with no Name” – “The heat was hot and the ground was dry and the air was full of sound.” What? For the record America, heat is always hot. “Yet Horse with no Name” was a hit and continues to get radio play. I am merely tearing apart Gaga’s lyrics to capitalize on the point that no matter how much we say we care about lyrics, for the most part, many of us will subconsciously listen to bad lyrics.

This is because many will like the artist if they are a good performer and if they like the music. Many people like Gaga’s performance and they like her dancy beats. They don’t care what the lyrics are, but when “Poker Face” hit the radio, it was her voice and the way she said “Poker Face” that captivated many. It’s why rappers can sing about who knows what and people will still dance around on the floor because as long as the beat is there, we don’t care.

I am pointing out this catch-22 that catchy lyrics often make for hit singles. This isn’t to say I am not a fan of certain songs such as America’s “Horse with No Name,” a catchy tune or The Beatles catalogue ’63-’65—pretty much all simple songs (“I Want to Hold Your Hand,” “I Saw Her Standing There” type tunes) but this doesn’t make the lyrics ingenious except for the fact that they sell on a commercial level.

Image from www.raw-tcsd.com.

The only other thing that makes lyrics like this smart is that it’s what’s in at the time. “I Want to Hold Your Hand” was smart only because it was risqué at the time to sing about such things, but they weren’t up to par with say a song like Don McLean’s “American Pie” lyrically. I’m trying to merely point out it doesn’t take genius lyrics to make a breakthrough song. Maybe that is a no-brainer, but I think it’s something that could be brought to light again when someone like Gaga, who arguably is America’s idol right now.

Since I wrote my last draft on Gaga, I have actually gained a newfound respect for her. After reading an interview on her in Rolling Stone, I learned that she battles lupus and makes a great effort to support her fans (she even ordered pizza for somewhere around 1,000 people who were waiting for her outside The Today Show). She’s talented musically—she originally played “Poker Face” on the piano—and she has this determined, work hard attitude about her. I also believe that she’s an intelligent woman who understands what American celebrity is, right down to dressing the part. I’m just not a fan of her lyrics.