TITLE: 2012
STARRING: John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Oliver Platt, Thandie Newton
DIRECTOR: Roland Emmerich
STUDIO: Centropolis Entertainment
RATED: PG-13
RUN TIME: 158 min
RELEASE DATE: November 13, 2009 (Theatrical), March 2, 2010 (DVD/Blu-Ray)

By Stephen McCarthy
Staff Writer, Evil Genius

Roland Emmerich has finally created the ultimate disaster movie. I thought the global warming disaster that was The Day After Tomorrow was hard to top, but there was still 2012.

The theory presented in the movie: that the Earth’s crust would detach from the next layer in the planet and start a crazy shift that would reshape the world is a real theory, but it has actually long since been discredited. I think that is what this movie was missing now that I think about it; A scene where a scientist is looking at this theory and says “We were wrong!” just as his building is about to explode. There are so many clichés in this movie that one more would not have hurt one bit, and probably would have only enhanced the insanity already prevalent in this film.

The movie features Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) as he and his family bouncing from disaster to disaster just trying to stay ahead of the crumbling land, the tidal waves or explosions occurring behind them. The film has a huge cast of characters from Danny Glover as the president to Woody Harrelson as a crazy conspiracy theorist, and they all play their roles in the movie and then promptly die when they no longer serve any purpose to the plot. After all, we don’t need to follow more people around, the Curtis family and friends are more than enough.

Image from RottenTomatoes.com.

By the end of this flick the death toll is well into the billions. Life has nearly been completely wiped out and there is some inspirational hope for the future, but I couldn’t buy into it one bit. I had already spent the entire movie laughing at everything that was going on. It was either very lame, cliché or outlandish to beyond the point of absurdity and I laughed at it all. Despite the best efforts of everyone involved, I could not turn my brain off at the end when they were getting serious about life going on. Wouldn’t all of the oil drills erupt due to massive damage destroying the eco system even more? With the super volcanoes going off, wouldn’t the sun be blotted out for a ridiculously long time? It really doesn’t matter as by this time you just want to leave since there is no more destruction to be had. The disaster is over and hope springs eternal.

But speaking of the disaster, they went all out on creating a beautiful array of destruction.  The computer generated destruction is some of the most beautiful that I have ever seen. I was in awe as monuments were struck down like they were nothing. The awesome force of nature was truly a sight to behold even if it was all fake.

The DVD also includes an audio commentary by Emmerich and writer Harald Kloser, deleted scenes, an alternate ending, Adam Lambert’s “Time For Miracles” music video, and a documentary entitled: Roland Emmerich: The Master of the Modern Epic.

Even though this movie is predictable, outlandish and full of one dimensional characters, it is does what it sets out to accomplish and had fun while doing it. But now I wonder where Roland Emmerich will venture towards now. I guess the last bastion of disaster movies would be totally insane made up stuff. Right now we have that huge oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico. What if we set fire to it while a hurricane is approaching? Firecane! Mr. Emmerich, I have practically written your next movie.

RATING: 4/10