Photo courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures.

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

The Dark Knight returns to theaters on July 20, 2012.

Warner Bros. Pictures reports it will distribute the film in both conventional and IMAX theaters.

Interestingly enough, this film will be released only two weeks after Sony Pictures’ next Spider-man film, which opens July 3, 2012.

In 2008, The Dark Knight made over $1 billion worldwide, making it one of the top grossing films of all time.

By Justin Polak
Co-Founder, Ambassador to the Mushroom Kingdom

I love Mega Man 2 as much as a proud father loves a son. When I was a child, Mega Man wasn’t just a simple Nintendo game for me.  It was a freaking lifestyle. I had a rockin’ blue sweat shirt and stylin’ blue sweat pants. When I wore those clothes to school, I became Mega Man. If my mother would have let me get away with it, I would have proudly worn a blue bike helmet or something similar.

Even to this day I am filled with insurmountable joy when I run through the game.  A couple years ago I ended up playing through Mega Man 2 after getting destroyed at a bar. I had a female friend who is seven years younger than me accompany me home that night. She was too young to see the big deal about Mega Man, so in my drunken state, I educated her. I was partially blackout drunk and I still managed to beat the game with little problems. Of course, this was all because I just had to show her how awesome Quick Man’s laser death trap sequences were, but I digress…

Roughly twenty years ago, it was an average, dull day in elementary school. Every once in awhile the teacher would pass out Scholastic Book Club catalogs, and I largely ignored them. I was one of the unfortunate children that let public school ruin reading for him. However, something in that catalog caught my eye that day.  I recognized the legendary awful box art of Mega Man 2 within the catalog’s pages. Upon further investigation it turned out that it was a Mega Man 2 novel.

I think my arm transformed into a cannon at that moment. I proceeded to blast the classroom door off with a single precise shot and raced home as fast as I could. After entering my mother’s room and besting her in battle, I received the “Please Mommy Buy This For Me” power. Thankfully, she forked over the money and in a couple of weeks; the book came into my anxious hands that fateful day.

I swear to God it was the best damn book I have ever read at the time. Just the fact that one of my favorite games of all time was novelized was the most brilliant idea ever for me at that point in my life. I probably re-read the book dozens upon dozens of times that year in school.

Unfortunately, tragedy struck. At the end of the school year I accidently left the book behind during the traditional end of the year locker clean up. I actually took the loss pretty well, because as great as I thought the book was, nothing would even come close to actually playing the game. But story does not end there. A couple of years ago, it was an average, dull day in the Ice Arena Pro-Shop, where I worked at the time.  The only computer I had access to had severely filtered internet, but I was able to browse Wikipedia to my heart’s content. I was reading up on Mega Man articles on the off chance I would learn something new when I suddenly remembered the Mega Man 2 novel.  Before I knew it I was on eBay, and I easily found a copy of the book. The asking price only required an old, wrinkled American dollar, so I ended up happily purchasing the book right then and there. About a week later, I found the book in my mail box. I dropped everything I was doing and read through the book in one sitting.

Now that I’ve had a few years of owning Worlds of Power: Mega Man 2 in my adult life, I thought it would be a fun idea to revisit the book yet again and share my thoughts to all of you.  Join me, get your weapons ready, and let us blast our way through the Mega Man 2 novel!

Air Man. Art from pressthebuttons.com

Air Man was the scariest looking robot that Mega Man had ever seen.  He was big and he was strong, but the scary thing about him was his mouth.

Air Man’s mouth was a huge, gaping hole that took in air and then blew it out in terrible gusts.  Even though he was a robot, his body seemed like it was made out of clouds.  As he moved, wisps of fog drifted off his pointed shoulders.  Miniature tornadoes flew from his mouth, pointing their tails straight as Mega Man.

Air Man stood with his back against a wall, spitting out hundreds of tornadoes.

“Destroying you will be a breeze, Mega Man!” he shouted.

Wow.  Just…wow.  How many things are wrong with this picture?  Granted, this is a preview of the action to come before the adventure even begins. Maybe the rest of the book is better, but still, I have to tear this apart.

First of all, AIR MAN IS NOT MADE OF CLOUDS!  Yes, the author said, “even though he was a robot,” but still.  C’mon, man!  All the robots are made of metal! Or maybe some sort of metallic material! And they don’t look like anything other than that material! The point is Air Man isn’t a cloud! He doesn’t look like a cloud! Everyone knows that Air Man eats clouds for breakfast and shits thunderstorms! I would hate to think what would happen if this author wrote a Final Fantasy VII novel. I can see it now…

Cloud jumped from the top of a rusty train in Sector 7, ready for action as Shinra soldiers donning blue armor and night vision goggles charged right at him.

But Cloud floated down gracefully with his purple uniform bought by his parent’s at the dollar store.  This was because Cloud’s parents were the clouds itself.  They don’t make much money and aren’t very bright, hence the name.

And while I enjoy an incredibly lame pun as much as the next man, I slapped my forehead when reading Air Man’s deadly threat.  I’m surprised Mega Man didn’t blow up immediately after hearing it from the sheer awfulness of that pun!

I’ll give the author credit for being creative, but I guess the point I was trying to make in the first place is this:  One of my pet peeves when video games are put in the hands of other entertainment mediums is the unnecessary changes that inevitably happen. Just describe Air Man as he appears! What I imagine is some cloud with a “gaping hole” awkwardly staring at Mega Man firing enough tornados to fill the entire screen! I guess if that were the case, the memetic “I Can’t Beat Air Man” song would actually make sense.

Return to Primary Ignition tomorrow for Part II, as Justin examines the book, awkward chapter by awkward chapter.

By Alex Brooks
Staff Writer, Bear Wrestler

Welcome to the Reality Rehashed: Survivor Edition!

This week in Samoa, the newly formed Yin Yang tribe had just gotten back from the first unified elimination of JT. The Heroes alliance was now down to four members and the Villains were at four as well, with Sandra sitting on the outskirts looking to fit in somewhere. Russell was dumbfounded when he figured out that Parvati had hidden an immunity idol from him, but all was somewhat forgiven when he was brought back into the alliance.

With the Heroes on the outs, Rupert looked to bring the exiled Sandra into the fold to bring the numbers onto their side. Russell was happy to be back in the alliance with Danielle, Parvati, and Jerri, but he couldn’t help feeling distrust and on the edge of a sinking ship. Russell went looking to Candice for a new member to bring on to their side and someone he could definitively trust beyond all reasonable doubt.

Reward Challenge

The Yin-Yang tribe was placed into three random groups: Colby, Danielle, and Amanda; Rupert, Sandra, and Russell; Parvati, Candice, and Jerri. The challenge was Survivor Shuffleboard similar to the challenge from previous seasons in the Amazon, Vanuatu, and Tocantins. Colby won the game for his team with the final shot placing closest to the X on the board, which sent his team to Robert Louis Stevenson’s house for a night in a bed and a showing of  Treasure Island.

However, trouble ensued when Danielle stumbled upon the Immunity Idol clue in her popcorn bowl. She attempted to hide it under the bed, but Amanda saw her hide it and immediately jumped up and grabbed it before Danielle could get back to it. The scuffle between the two was extremely funny considering Colby continued watching Treasure Island until he was asked to intervene. Colby said that the clue was found by Danielle, so it technically belongs to her and Amanda should give it back. Amanda reluctantly gave up the clue and couldn’t believe Colby betrayed her like that.

Immunity Challenge

This week’s immunity challenge didn’t exactly mean much for the game because Jerri wound up winning and she wasn’t on the chopping block in anyone’s book. The castaways had to build a ten foot tall tower out of wooden blocks in the shape of playing cards. Russell came in second and realized that one of his alliance members had won, so it didn’t hurt him too much to lose.

Time Before Tribal Council

Danielle showed Russell, Parvati, and Jerri the clue to the Immunity Idol and they all went searching for it as a team. Unfortunately for the villain alliance, Russell found the idol and hid it in order to regain the upper hand and get back at them for hiding an idol from him. Russell re-confronted Candice, this time with the idol, claiming that if she joined him he could get her to the final five. Meanwhile, Sandra was coerced by Rupert to join the Heroes alliance which made the number back to four on four with Candice on the ropes this time. Sandra infiltrated the Villains as a double agent and  found out that they were looking to eliminate Amanda, but before she could think about telling the heroes about that Candice told Russell everything the Heroes were planning. The Heroes thought that Danielle had the idol and that Russell was going to be saved, so they switched their strategy to target Parvati instead of Russell.

Tribal Council

To save himself Russell’s nerves forced him to use the idol so the votes shook out like this:

• Votes for Amanda: Russell, Parvati, Danielle, Candice, Sandra, and Jerri
• Votes for Parvati: Colby, Amanda, and Rupert

Survivor Power Rankings

1. Colby Donaldson- He’s been floating under the radar and his performance in the Reward Challenge was stellar.
2. Jerri Manthey- No one is afraid of this Survivor veteran who just won her first ever Immuntiy Challenge, making her dangerous
3. Candice Woodcock- She holds a crucial swing vote for the next episode
4. Russell Hantz- Using the Immunity Idol hurt his alliance, but kept them aware of his power
5. Parvati Shallow- She lost the throne in her alliance after one week, but is still kept strong by Danielle’s loyalty
6. Rupert Boneham- Rupert is a fan favorite, but no-one has believed him or regarded anything he said as the truth so his time could be coming
7. Danielle DiLorenzo- Danielle made a mistake by sharing the clue and cost herself a chance to make a power move later in the game
8. Sandra Diaz-Twine- Sandra is on the outs between both alliances now thanks to her double crossing, she should be the next one gone

By Alex Brooks
Staff Writer, Bear Wrestler

Welcome to Primetime Rehashed: Community Edition!

The freshman thursday night comedy starring the Soup‘s Joel McHale had taken a two week break before this episode, so with its return should have come a great episode. Unfortunately, this week’s installment was somewhat mediocre. The show can capture an audience with it’s quick wit and sarcastic cast, but the plotlines for “The Art of Discourse” could have been better planned.

Photo from blog.zap2it.com

This week the gang faces three different issues: Pierce finally wears out his welcome within the group after pantsing Shirley, Jeff and Britta go head to head with a few high school bullies, and Troy and Abed go through a “bucket list” of activities to finish before the end of the semester. The show begins with Jeff and Britta talking in the cafeteria when they are interrupted and insulted by a few high school kids who are getting a head start by taking classes at the college. Britta carries this grudge back to the study room with her whereas Jeff completely forgets about them and focuses on Pierce’s terrible guitar playing.

Abed takes Pierce’s guitar from him and smashes it into pieces because he claims that it is a part of his bucket list that he wants to complete before the end of the semester. Troy says he wants in and Abed accepts him as his ‘Morgan Freeman’. Abed chooses to pants Troy and Troy does the same to him making Pierce decide that it is fine to pants Shirley. Shirley’s rampage is where the episode splits off into its three main arcs. Shirley gets Pierce kicked out of the group, Troy and Abed attack the Bucket List head on, and Jeff and Britta try to find a way to break the high schoolers.

Pierce’s absence from the group results in everyone insulting on another and the search for the group’s new scapegoat,  Abed and Troy become pledges for a fraternity, and Jeff realizes that the best way to get back at the teenagers would be to sleep with the leader’s mom. Jeff’s conquest is remarkably hilarious, but it backfires when the teenagers find out and tell the mom the real situation. Pierce admits to Shirley that he respects her the most out of everyone in the group and they realize that they are truly the parents of them all. Abed and Troy don’t get any attention until the end of the episode when a giant food fight breaks out.

The end scene is something from a typical college movie and Pierce & Shirley’s epiphany as the groups parents lead them to pants all of the high schoolers. The show’s be all end all results in the combination of all three plotlines in one of the most interesting scenes in comedy TV history. The episode’s downfalls were the absence of Troy and Abed and the actors playing the High School students horrible acting ability. They were supposed to come of annoying and that’s what they did, but the reason they were annoying was because of their obvious inability to keep up with Joel McHale and Gillian Jacobs. However, the light at the end of the tunnel came up when the preview for next week’s episode was enough to entrance anyone until 8pm next Thursday.

Quotes of the Night

1. “Knitting is hip, Winona Ryder knits!” – Britta Perry (Jacobs)

2. ” I’ll be like your Morgan Freeman” – Troy Barnes (Glover)

3. ” Actually, I was a lawyer” “Looks like that went well” - Jeff Winger and Mark Cahill (McHale and Kusnitz)

4 . ” Well, I try to keep things where they should be” ” I think I might be where I should be” – Mark’s Mom and Jeff Winger (Rinna and McHale)

5. ” They’re making us walk around with pretzels in our butts and I put mustard on mine like an idiot” – Troy Barnes (Glover)

Rating: 6/10

Photo from boston.com

By Alex Brooks
Staff Writer, Bear Wrestler

Welcome to the first edition of Primetime Rehashed!

The first show receiving a recap/review will be last night’s Modern Family, titled “Travels with Scout”. The shows three separate, yet related families start the episode with three main plotlines as per the usual. The return of  Fred Willard as Phil’s dad shakes up the Dunphy household when he brings the family the gift of a dog and Haley’s boyfriend Dylan makes the decision to bring on Cameron as his band’s new drummer.  Also,  Jay’s bad decision to take Manny to a horror movie winds up scarring him beyond all recognition.

The comedic genius of the show really spikes around the middle of the episode when we find out that the dog begins to grow on Claire, Phil’s dad is hiding something, and that Cameron is an excellent drummer. Cameron, unfortunately, takes the gig too seriously and goes on for at least a 30 minute drum solo when Dylan’s song ends. So, when the band’s former drummer returns Cameron is forced to face reality and return back to his boring life with Mitchell.

Jay hires the killer from the horror movie to come talk to Manny and hopefully break him from his state of constant fear. The actor rings the Pritchett’s broken doorbell and no one come to the door, so he heads to the window where he sees Manny. The actor knocks on the window with his fake machete and accidentally scars the poor kid’s mind even more than before.

Back to the Dunphy household, Phil and the family are saying good-bye to his Dad (Fred Willard) and he finally works up the courage to ask him what was wrong with him. He tells Phil that he has fallen in love with someone, and that someone is Scout the dog. Reluctantly, Claire hands the dog back over to Frank and he heads back out on the open road while the credits get ready to roll.

This episode was refreshingly full of new surprises from a show that had seemingly already explored most of its roots. Fred Willard’s compliments Ty Burrell very well and they were dynamic in every scene they had together. Julie Bowen continues her quest to join the likes of Patricia Heaton and Courtney Thorne-Smith as one of comedy television’s top moms. The episode’s top moment is when Cameron (Eric Stonestreet) realizes that he is the odd man out in the band and once again his storyline pulls the show from the land of the mediocre to the comedy hall of fame.

Quotes of the Night:

1. ” I was waiting for her to be in the right mood. Actually I did get one right mood a couple nights ago, but I cashed it in for something else.” – Phil Dunphy ( Burrell)
2. ” I get them online, I’ll send you a link”   “Oh, well I cook my own sausages so I’ll send you a link” - Cameron Tucker and Frank Dunphy (Stonestreet and Willard)
3. ” What because I’m gay I’m just going to want to play showtunes?” ” No, because you’re old” ” Wow, that hurt more Dylan” – Cameron Tucker and Dylan (Stonestreet and Ewing)
4. ” This is Neal” ” Ok, I’ll always remember him as the stranger holding my baby” - Cameron Tucker and Mitchell Pritchett (Stonestreet and Ferguson)
5. ” Thanks for poking through the armor.” ” You’re poking through the armor down there” “What!” ” Just kidding” - Frank Dunphy and Phil Dunphy (Willard and Burrell)

Rating: 8.5/10

Image courtesy of the dredges that is the internet.

By Eric Stuckart
Creator, Destroyer

According to their blog, Halo creator Bungie has sold their souls to formed an “exclusive, worldwide partnership” with Activision. Owned by Microsoft until 2007, the studio is responsible for the nerd rage-athon that is collectively known as the Halo franchise.

Teabaggers rejoice, though, while Bungie may be dealing with the devil, especially after the neverending soap opera that is the Activision/Infinity Ward pissing contest, that they still “remain an independent company and will continue to own their intellectual property” and that “Activision will have exclusive, worldwide rights to publish and distribute all future Bungie games based on the new intellectual property on multiple platforms and devices.”

Basically, this means that Bungie is using their power and popularity to get the biggest bully in school to do all the dirty work for them, but only for their next big project. Despite the fact that they’ve been reportedly working with Activision for the past nine months, it still comes as a shock that they would announce this in light of Activision’s growing problems with their own development teams. Good luck to them.

For more information, read the rest here.

That’s right. Primary Ignition has a Twitter account. They begged, and begged, and begged, and we said: “Alright, FINE! If it’ll make you happy, Twitter, we’ll sign up.”

So we did. True story.

Follow us at: http://twitter.com/primaryignition

ARTIST: Bleeding Through
ALBUM TITLE: Bleeding Through
RECORD LABEL: Rise Records
RELEASED: April 13, 2010

By Eric Stuckart
Creator, Destroyer

Bleeding Through is one of those bands that I’d liken to a cockroach. The band has seen its fair share of ups and downs, and like any good roach, they just won’t die. Other bands have rose and fell during their 13 years’ experience, and they have persevered.

Having been one of the forerunners of the American metalcore movement might have had something to do with this. I’ve noticed, as many bands in any music scene pop up, usually it tends to be the ones that took part in innovating the style that survive. The proof is in the pudding; Shadows Fall, Killswitch Engage, and As I Lay Dying are still going strong, whereas most of the other Swedish-core bands all either went back underground, broke up, or found a new genre to emulate.

Bleeding Through has always been one of those bands for me that was kind of just there for me. Fusing the keyboards and more atmospheric elements of symphonic black metal to a backbone of thrash guitars and palm-muted breakdowns, their albums always paled in comparison to the energy of their live shows. Granted, this happens often, but their albums just weren’t the type that demanded repeated listens.

Looking back now, I think it might have been because they tried to be too many different things to different people, and it made for an uneven listening experience. This identity crisis continues on their self-titled sixth album, but for the most part, the deviations aren’t as derailing. But with a band like this, who derives most of their spirit out of sheer aggression, I could really do without the abrupt melodic choruses. At times they sound forced for sake of accessibility. Despite all this, the black metal influence is even more present in the songs than 2008’s Declaration.

Brandon Schieppati’s vocals are much raspier as well, alternating between his trademark barks and a more screechy howl, bringing to mind a more black metal approach. However, at this point in their careers, it really isn’t enough of a change of pace to really call it progress. Sure, some of the set pieces have changed, and there’s a different song playing in the background, but it’s still the same old song and dance on stage, and unless they learn to overcome that boundary, that will forever be their biggest enemy.

RATING: 6/10

For more information, visit www.bleedingthrough.com, www.myspace.com/bleedingthrough

TITLE: The Flash: Rebirth
AUTHOR: Geoff Johns
ARTIST: Ethan Van Sciver
COLLECTS: The Flash: Rebirth #1-6
FORMAT: Hardcover
PUBLISHER: DC Comics
PRICE: $19.99
RELEASE DATE: April 28

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

So you’re a superhero who’s been dead for several years. The world goes on, life goes on. Then suddenly, you’re back….What do you do?

If Geoff Johns and Ethan Van Sciver have something to say about it, you’ll probably star in a 6-issue Rebirth miniseries. Hoping to recapture the success they found with Green Lantern: Rebirth in 2004, the duo launched The Flash: Rebirth in the aftermath of Barry Allen’s return to his role as The Flash in Final Crisis.

But The Flash: Rebirth is a completely different animal. The Barry Allen character, who unofficially started the silver age of comics with his first appearance as The Flash in 1956, had been dead for about 25 years. He was killed off in 1985′s Crisis on Infinite Earths. Even so, he remained a perennial fan favorite, and was occasionally seen in flashback and time travel type stories. But Rebirth made it official: Barry was back, and this story served as his welcome home.

Alternate cover for The Flash: Rebirth #6. From www.dccomics.com

Unfortunately, Barry isn’t convinced his return is a good thing. Having been trapped in the Speed Force (the energy source that other speedsters tap into for their speed) for several years, he is convinced that he “wasn’t supposed” to come back. But unbeknownst to Barry, one of his enemies is plotting against him. As the Speed Force begins to behave erratically, Barry Allen must once again embrace his role as the scarlet speedster if he and his loved ones are to survive.

One of the great things about Geoff Johns’ writing is that he’s truly able to grasp the ins and outs of the characters he works with, and what they represent. In Rebirth, he’s able to add on to what readers know about Barry Allen, without tarnishing any of the history.

For readers who aren’t familiar with the character, Johns quickly points to Barry’s emotional soft spots. He spotlights his relationship with his beloved wife Iris, and adds a new heart-wrenching aspect to his backstory. This provide the reader with an emotional tether to Barry, drawing into the story line whether they know him or not.

The story’s biggest problem lies with the complexities involving the Speed Force, and how it ties into everything. What the Speed Force is and does, how it’s used, how it effects the characters, these are all things that Johns needs to explain within the context of the story. He does it, but the information is all a bit much to take in. I actually had to re-read several passages, just so I could fully understand what was happening.

Also, while it doesn’t necessarily hurt the story, we end up with a LOT of speedsters in the picture at the end of the book. In addition to Barry Allen, we have Wally West (who took over as The Flash after Barry died), Kid Flash, Jay Garrick (the original Flash from the 1940′s who still his his powers), Wally’s daughter, in addition to two other returning characters. That’s SEVEN characters with super-speed powers. Johns did great character work with Barry here, but the idea that he’s been restored to his role as the DC Universe’s primary speedster comes out tarnished.

Van Sciver’s art hits the mark, as usual. He has the unenviable task of drawing both Barry Allen and Wally West in their Flash uniforms, which are basically identical. To his credit, there’s seldom confusion as to who is who, but Johns throws him a plot point at the end to help him out a bit.

Did DC Comics need to bring Barry Allen back? No. Still, amid the confusion (and perhaps redundancy) Johns and Van Sciver made me appreciate that he is back. Despite it’s flaws, The Flash: Rebirth is, at it’s core, a story about a man coming to grips with the circumstances life has dealt him, and appreciating the wonderful things he has.

RATING: 6.5/10